By un-sexy public acts, we specifically mean masturbating on planes, as one shameless gentleman was alleged to have done on a cross-country United flight. At least the three 18-year-olds who noticed can’t be as traumatized as the passengers on that one motherfuckin’ plane with those motherfuckin’ snakes (see left).
Another way to get yourself arrested is to slap Obama’s face on some condom wrappers with hilarious slogans and peddle them in Times Square, like José Andujar, who is facing his third arrest for unlicensed peddling.
Andujar also carries condoms with John McCain’s smiling face — “Old but not expired” — and Sarah Palin’s — “When abortion is not an option. Experience not necessary for use.”
An appeals court will decide whether or not his prophylactic wares can be categorized alongside books, which can be sold without a license under the First Amendment. In the words of the great Andujar channeling the great Obama, “hope is not a form of protection,” but condoms and the First Amendment are.