We present to you the glorious nearly nude coffeeshops of San Jo, where pasties, thongs, fishnet and bare women abound.
Angry wives often send video footage to Councilwoman Madison Nguyen demanding the prompt return of their husbands’ lustful stares.
She’s unable to do anything about it, and San Jose Police Department Sergeant Jason Dwyer explains, “If it’s a choice between sending people out to do gang suppression or sending them into some of these coffee shops, which can be a labor intensive operation if it’s undercover, we’re probably going to lean towards violent crime.”
At least someone seems to have his priorities straight. We wish we could say the same for the typical nudie coffee shop-goer, who according to one Yelp review is “mainly sketchy older sleazebags.”