It wasn’t until the cashier at Gypsy’s pointed to the Greek letters on my tank top and asked me which sorority I was in that I realized I had a problem. Because I’m not in a sorority, and I wasn’t wearing a puffy paint sorority tank — I was sporting my very own frat shirt.
To anyone else, spring semester was one for the record books. However, we’re also the outliers, the exceptions to the rule.
While frat hopping is a social calendar shoo-in for every freshman during fall semester, you’ll experience a severe drop-off when you come back from winter break. Something about strict guest lists, I’ve heard. Plus, when you’re wearing a mini skirt, the rain isn’t exactly motivating, either …
But I digress. In a nutshell, anyone with the right ratio can binge on jungle juice in a sweaty basement during Welcome Week, but it takes a certain kind of party animal to create staying power.
I’ve more than proven I can party with the wildest of animals. And I’m here to teach you, oh curious newbie, how to follow in my footsteps.
Step One: Blame it on those pesky double standards, but it helps immensely to be a girl. It’s just easier for a girl to infiltrate a frat house than it is for a guy to pull the same stunt at a sorority. Since sororities are officially dry, frats are responsible for throwing parties. Makes for easy pickings, if you happen to be a member of the fairer sex.
Step Two: Zone in on one of the smaller frats. My personal favorite flew under the radar this past year, but that didn’t stop its brothers from having a good time. The mere fact that it wasn’t wildly popular made it so much fun. Instead of trying to throw one major rager each semester, those guys were pretty much down for any impromptu chillax-sesh.
Step Three: Show up to any event they host. Even if it’s not official. Especially if it’s not official. You get to party with a smaller, more personal circle of people, all while making friends and memories (hopefully you’ll remember the latter in the morning). Bear in mind that everything is awkward until everyone gets drunk. Plus, less people equals less chance of running out of booze.
Step Five: Flirt mercilessly and become “good friends” with a few brothers. But in all seriousness, it’s definitely worth your while to befriend some frat guys. Earn their respect, not their belt notches. Not all of them are as stereotypically fratty as you’d expect, and most of them have your back. Even if that means walking you home when you’re too drunk to make it back to Clark Kerr alone.
Step Six: Do something crazy that goes down as the craziest thing to ever happen in that house. Use any means necessary to become the life of the party. Not like I’m pulling from personal experience here, but if they have a pool, strip down and jump in it. If there’s a table, dance on top of it. And if they keep letting you back in, make damn sure that you become a legend.
That’s all I can divulge for now. Please, my friends and I are going down in history, and we’re not about to give up that title any time soon. But that doesn’t mean we’re not going to seriously enjoy watching you try.
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