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Ladies, picture this: you and the cute guy with a little crush on you and a hell of a lot of sexual attraction towards you, are walking back to your place on a random week night. He can’t come up because your roommate is sleeping upstairs, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a long sexy “goodbye” session. So you get your keys, unlock the front door and while you two are still having your meaningless conversation, you start walking up the front steps. You both know you’re about to go make out and probably more, so you automatically head to the relatively secluded mailbox area of your building.

Eventually, one of you makes the first move, and the make-out session begins. It’s pretty standard so far. Then, you reach down his pants (conveniently, he is wearing basketball shorts), and begin doing some serious work. Some serious torture, actually. Although I personally stick to manually playing with it, there aren’t exactly restrictions on whatever you would be doing at this point.

So you continue on, your tongue and lips doing some major display of skill up there and your hands showing him whose boss down there. And you are not just timidly stroking it — no, you are basically making love to it with your hands. Not violently necessarily, but definitely with passion, if you know what I mean.

Now, here is the hopefully obvious irony: he loves it — I mean loves it — but it’s also straight up torture. Why, you ask? Because now the only thing on his mind is to relieve the situation, yet, that’s not going to be happening with the help of you and your vagina. So, this situation is actually pretty horrible for him. Yep, blue balls.

And guess what? You’re actually holding some power in your hands right now — pun intended. His entire focus and energy is currently concentrated on the erect mass of flesh and blood in the palm of your hands. If you keep doing what you’re doing, he will stay for as long as it goes on — trust me, he will even if it’s already 5 a.m. What is going on down there has taken over his brain and you are the master.

Now, I am by no means encouraging sadism — although whatever you’re into is your prerogative. However, in a society in which men still hold much power (in many ways), it’s nice to know that now and then, we can have some too. Even if it’s in a building lobby by some mailboxes in the middle of the night. So ladies, enjoy it.

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