Alright, I’m sure that many of you that have read some of my previous stuff have decided that I’m a heartless, immoral, unethical, irresponsible, slutty nympho. Or something along those lines. However, there is more to me than those 400-word snippets you read semi-regularly.
A couple of weeks ago, I joined a friend of mine and her fellow club officers at a local eatery, and one them claimed that sex with someone you have actual feelings for is much better than the feeling-less kind. Though at the time I did more or less agree and made a mental note to eventually discuss this here, I’ve recently thought a lot about this topic.
I think that there is definitely something to be said for the so-called “relationship sex.” Maybe not every “couple” in the world that is having sex experiences it, and maybe some pairs that aren’t in a “relationship” get to. But I do think that it’s more common to the said “couples.” And what do I mean by “relationship sex”? I mean the chemistry that almost makes your head spin when you’re even just making out. The world around you doesn’t matter in that moment, only the other person’s flesh and energy.
I’m still not quite sure what it is that makes it that much better. Maybe it’s because when you’re there, naked, together, doing whatever you’re doing, you know you’re actually special to the person with you? Maybe it’s because you know each other outside and inside the bedroom? Maybe it’s because the post-sex cuddling actually means something? I’m not quite sure. I’m just theorizing here.
I’ve been trying to put my finger on this in the last few weeks, mainly by analyzing a variety of experiences — both mine and my friends’. One of my friends is notorious for not being capable of hooking up with a guy she doesn’t have any sort of (romantic) feelings for, and has somewhat talked herself into believing that she and her current fuck buddy are at least a bit more than that. Maybe it’s that extra spark she’s chasing and which explains her current situation. Even sex with a friend that is more or less identical (in terms of positions and overall technique) to what I used to do with an ex-boyfriend isn’t as dizzying.
With that said, I’m by no means saying that all other kinds of physical encounters are wrong — definitely not changing my mind on that. I just thought that there is something to be said for relationship sex, so I shared a few thoughts on it with you. But who knows, my next one-night stand may be the greatest sex of my life. We’ll see.
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Kia call Robert @6959116
Kia Iwould like to meet you call robert @695 9116 okay sweetheart I look forward to meeting you
Wow….this is so sad….I am not sure whether or not I am more sad about the fact this was sent out to everyone on the Daily Cal list as if it would be some kind of ‘edifying article’ or sad for you. Take a look at the Time Magazine article (2009 or 2010) that explains the research done on sex and relationships. What they discovered was (shockingly enough!)—was that Married couples actually have the MOST SATISFYING SEX LIVES. Shocking but TRUE! It is sad to me that that fact would be such a shock to someone like you…but it is ACTUALLY TRUE!—The ‘satisfying’ aspect of any sexual relationship has to do with communication and vulnerability. People who know that they have dedicated their lives to each other have an abundance of BOTH. I hope that you get a chance to explore this ‘arena’ of the sexual domain. You will find that both your soul and your body are much more peaceful and fulfilled. In the mean time, I will pray for your soul because you are endangering both your body and soul by engaging in sex as if it were some kind of sport. Please know that I will pray for you. Please do not play Russian roulette with your soul—you only have one body…one life…and one SOUL—-If you treat your body and soul right…you actually give your eternal soul a chance to end up in THE GOOD PLACE (as opposed to the other eternal torturous place). Good Luck…I will pray for you.
relationships make the sex soooo much better. fact.
last time i had sex with my (now ex) boyfriend i was literally crying. i know that sounds kind of weird.
sex without a relationship is more interesting and playful because it’s all new. but once you have meaningful sex again you remember that it’s what sex is really supposed to be like.
also, the transitions are easier.
relationship sex is more intense, because you feel like you’re merging with them on a more intimate level. you want all of them, not just there body. sex is just a means of getting that much closer to someone you already feel such a deep connection to.
and plus, there’s none of those lingering feelings of attachement to someone you don’t really care about based on the physical intimacy. as a woman, i find i either end up attaching deep feelings to, or feeling used by, all my fwb’s.
i haven’t gotten over that yet.
I don’t think there is a definitive answer to this question and certainly none so clear as those hypothesized above. First, I think that relationship sex and physical encounters are qualitatively different. I fail to see how someone can say with any coherence that one is necessarily more pleasurable than the other because not only will this vary person to person, but there is even evidence on both sides (I have seen several documentaries regarding attraction that explain why a sexual encounter can be much more pleasurable than familiar sex). There is also difficulty in determining the origin of the pleasures as physical or psychological or the combination thereof. So as to the fact of the matter, I admit ignorance. But I am fairly confident of the relativity of the matter and I don’t think the Greta has enough evidence to be so reductionistic.
Who are you?! and what have you done with the real Kia?