Gents: by Eytan Schindelhaim
Prelude — Miles Kane, “Come Closer”
Forward, sexy and smooth, this song will ignite your bedroom eyes and hurl you into your partner’s arms. A slick, sleazy guitar riff, coupled with Miles Kane’s primal and inviting vocals will awaken the tiger inside you and send you biting for clothing articles to tear off with your teeth. Kane asks “What do I have to do to get you where I want you?/I guess we’ll see what might be” (a noncommittal way of saying “I want you here and now”) before begging you to “come closer.” His vocals growl and spit what’s on his mind, inspiring you to do the same.
Foreplay — Arctic Monkeys, “Suck It And See”
A hot-blooded, romantic serenade, this track is perfect for tingling the senses while your senses are being tingled. The song’s bright guitars and lush melody, combined with Alex Turner’s delectable crooning voice, will amplify pleasant sensations into monumental thrills. Meanwhile, its dreamy lyrics alone suffice for momentous arousal. Lines like “your love is like a studded leather headlock/your kiss could put creases in the rain” are enough to make anyone melt. And if needed, the chorus contains the phrase “suck it and see, you never know,” which may be a useful way to drop your partner a certain hint.
Sex — Beyonce, “Ego”
Once you’ve built up your carnal desires, its time to get down to business, and no one does that better than Beyonce. Starting with a supremely sensual piano lick, from the first note this song strips down any remaining inhibitions. Then Beyonce’s voice comes in, steamy, rhythmic and bodacious, to guide you through those first few motions. As she sings a series of sultry lines like “It’s on baby let’s get lost/you don’t need to call into work ‘cause you da boss,” you and your partner are bound to go absolutely wild.
Interlude — The Kooks, “Do You Wanna”
As things kick into gear and you’re away on the path of lovemaking, it may be worth a giggle to stop and whisper in your partner’s ear: “make love to me.” Fortunately, The Kooks have a song for that. An untamed, feral, get-to-the-point track, “Do You Wanna” will launch you out of the cute phases and into the realm of the hot and heavy. With its unruly guitar solos and Luke Pritchard shouting “I know you wanna make love to me!” this is the song for revving up the engines and starting to make the earth shake.
Orgasm — Luciano Pavarotti, “Nessun Dorma (Turandot)”
Okay, it’s time to get serious. We know it’s coming, and fast. Time to slow things down a bit, then build up to the grand finale. There is drama in the air, a feeling that warrants a booming voice and a cascade of spectacular strings. This requires more than just music; it requires opera. And when opera is needed, usher in Pavarotti. Perhaps one of the grandest pieces of music ever recorded, Nessun Dorma (as sung by Pavarotti) is an utterly colossal track with an earth-shattering climax. If timed right, this orgasm could be a religious experience.
Afterglow — Carly Simon, “Nobody Does It Better”
Feeling satisfied? Feeling like Napoleon after conquering Spain? Like 007 after he’s thrilled the pants off a woman? This Bond-film theme song is the perfect conclusion to a thorough, passionate romp. Whether you just high-five your partner or liberally congratulate their performance, this track will let them know how you truly feel: “Nobody does it better/makes me feel sad for the rest/nobody does it half as good as you/baby you’re the best.” With this song playing, you’ll be basking in each other’s glory, drifting into dreams of your newfound status as masters of the bedroom.
Ladies — by Patricia Cruz
Prelude — Trey Songz, “Panty Dropper”
What would a sex playlist be without a track from Trey Songz? More importantly, what would a sex playlist be if it didn’t open with a line that declares, “This right here’s a panty dropper”? If that doesn’t set the terms of the night, I don’t know what does. Known for his dirty-talking songs, Trey sticks to what he does best: combining a slow, seductive tempo with his smooth-as-silk voice.
Foreplay — Shakira and Alejandro Sanz, “La Tortura”
Confession time: I honestly can’t listen to this song without playing that steamy music video in my head. Alejandro Sanz bending Shakira over a kitchen counter while they’re slicing veggies? Yum. When translated, this song is about the torture two people feel when they are destined to be apart. But when you’re making out and giving/receiving a seductive little lap dance to this number, who cares what the words are? The frantic beat, the sultry duet, and the spiciness of unrecognizable words combine to be the perfect background to the heat of the moment.
Sex — Maroon 5, “Secret”
I believe that fucking to Adam Levine’s velvety voice is the next best thing to fucking the man himself. This simple, yet soulful, song is perfect for when you want to start things off slowly. And just like every good lay, it picks up the pace at just the right moment and reaches its peak of seduction when Adam, accompanied by a small chorus, sings those sweet words: “I ask you how hot can it get, / And as you wipe off beads of sweat, / Slowly you say, ‘I’m not there yet’”. But we beg to differ, Mr. Levine. We are definitely there.
Interlude — Pleasure P, “Under”
This type of song should come standard in every sex playlist. It’s the epitome of R&B sexiness, and its mellow and steady beat make it the perfect song for the interlude between starting and finishing. Because it uses an extended metaphor to compare a woman’s body to a body of water, it can be implicitly seductive without being overtly dirty. My favorite lyric: “Baby, if I drown tonight, it’s all worth it for you / I don’t need no rescue.”
Orgasm — James Blunt, “Dangerous (Deniz Koyu and Johan Wedel Remix)”
I liken an orgasm to the bass drop in an electro/house/dubstep song. There’s the buildup, when you wait in knowing that something big is about to happen but refuse to let the moment pass you by without having reveled in the excitement of its anticipation. And this song does a phenomenal job of filling in that delay with the cliché-filled cuteness that can characterize only a James Blunt song: “I’ll be wrapped around your finger, let the moment linger, / See you on the other side.” And then, slowly but surely, the drop hits, and all hell breaks loose into a climactic frenzy, full of energy and lacking in inhibition.
Afterglow — Van Morrison, “Crazy Love”
After all the seduction and sexing has been done, the romantic in us all wants — even hopes — for the sweetness that follows. This classic reminds us all that despite a refusal to openly admit it, the fact remains that sex is something to be cherished, and our partners are
somebodies to be adored. And nothing earnestly and sincerely exemplifies those ideals better than this song does. So when the fun’s been had, get your cuddle on with this ballad; you won’t be disappointed.