“Ew, no! That’s sooooo gross!” Sound familiar? Yeah, that’s probably the response you’ve been given, or have given, to the suggestion of period sex.
Actually, that’s also the response that one of the advice columnists of a certain Southwestern college newspaper gave to a reader wondering if she should suggest it to her boyfriend. I’ve long considered writing a column on this topic and though I’ve so far discarded it with the old, “Oh, I’ll do it another week,” it is now clear that I should put down a few of my personal thoughts about this.
Like many of my fellow ladies, I’ve encountered my fair share of dudes who are simply repulsed by the idea of having sex with a chick while she’s on her period. In fact, one or two can’t even bear to hear the word “period” mentioned — I thought I had left middle school almost a decade ago. While I do understand the fact that it can be a little messy — after all, I’ve personally had a period every month for the past decade — I still don’t get why guys don’t just get over themselves, grow up and do both themselves and us a favor.
Women have menstrual cycles, and that’s not changing anytime soon. Furthermore, I really think that if you’re planning on hooking up with chicks for the rest of your life, you should stop acting like what happens to our bodies every month is weird, shameful, absolutely repulsive and something that should be ignored. It’s called biology — deal with it.
I also want to point out that it’s really not helping us feel comfortable about the relationship between our bodies and you. If you can’t even be at ease with an aspect of our body over which we don’t have control, how are we supposed to feel about things men believe we are able to control (i.e., shape, size, weight, etc.)? As if we didn’t have enough body insecurities already.
Our mental health aside, there’s another important result from your inability to be grown up about this: forgoing sex a quarter of the time. Yep, in case you haven’t realized, refusing to have period sex means that every month, for a week, you will not be getting laid. OK, I realize that this mostly applies to those in exclusive arrangements and that if you have more than one option, odds are that all your fuck buddies won’t be having “shark week” at the same time.
But then again, maybe you really want to screw that one particular girl right now. Or the other ones are not available. Or whatever other obstacle the sex gods have put on your path to blissful explosion.
This “no sex 25 percent of the time” is not sounding so great now, is it?
Oh, and did I mention that we usually also get hornier during that time of the month? That’s right, we hit a point at which we just want to fuck you (a lot), and trust me, you should take advantage of that — especially if your lady friend is normally tamer on that front.
So why don’t you just look at it for what it really is: a natural bodily fluid. It’s really not a big deal — you don’t freak out when you cut yourself shaving and a little blood appears, do you?
Now, I understand that it can get a little messy, but there are a couple things you can do about that. First, putting down a towel over the area of impending action is always a good way to go — I always do, at least. Towels are easy to wash, and you can just toss it in your hamper when you’re done instead of going through the ordeal of taking your sheets off your bed, putting clean ones in their place and all that work. Sure, it can be argued that, as the other half of that column pointed out, “it definitely detracts from romance.” But then again, I doubt anyone would be having period sex with a person with whom the romance would be “ruined” if they took a one-minute towel-grab pause. That’s just my guess.
Shower sex is, of course, another obvious solution to the problem.
Also, fellas, if you’re still not 100 percent cool with the idea of blood smeared all over your friend down there, condoms should help remedy that. It’s like giving him a little rubber poncho to keep him safe and clean. Oh, and I should probably also mention that the girls-can’t-get-pregnant-on-their-period myth is exactly that — a myth.
True, proper use of birth control pills offers protection in this case, but otherwise, it is absolutely possible to get pregnant if you’re having unprotected sex.
Actually, if you ask me, you should always use condoms — but that’s a whole other discussion.
So while the advice column I mentioned may turn out to be a satirical take on this topic (the multiple biblical references and hints of sarcasm could be clues), I’m hoping my column will convince at least some of you out there to give it a shot — come on, how could it not be a win-win?!
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Great article Kia. Errrrybody is a hater for no reason.
I liked this article :)
Given that strippers like to promote themselves by stealing names from luxury automobiles such as Porsche, Lexus, and Mercedes, what can you say about an attention-starved little girl named Kia, other than she’s relatively cheap?
You can get pregnant if you have sex on your period, but it is very rare. Especially for women who have a pretty regular 28 day cycle.
Can I fuck you before you graduate??
Kia I absolutely love this article! I have always felt a little weird about the situation but its true shark week really turns on the heat lol. I hear condoms break in the water during shower sex? any truth? are there special brands that dont break in water? thank you.
-CuriousFemale.
While I see where she is coming from and intellectually agree with her, I cannot help the repulsion I feel when I think about a woman’s vagina being lubricated by blood while I have sex with it. The idea of blood being used as lube and causing me sexual pleasure just does not sit right at all. Can’t help it.
If you are thinking about the blood, then you are having sex with the wrong person. Your mind should actually be completely occupied with other things during sex.
I can’t believe people actually get uptight about period sex. Good article.
How about: “Also, fellas, if you’re still not 100 percent cool with the idea of
blood smeared all over your friend down there, you should, nay, =must= have him wearing a condom anyway, right? Damn right”
Final thought: does Kia just walk around naked at the Daily Cal offices? Isn’t that a bit distracting for the writers?
That said, never got the problem with period sex. Just throw a towel down or a ratty t-shirt down and get right to it.
On the other hand, unexpected period sex? You get home with a girl, it’s dark, you don’t realize she’s on her period, you wake up covered in blood as if the Texas Chainsaw Massacre just happened in your room.-women bleed a ton during their periods, holy shit–and don’t realize what happened? That can be scary.
Just hurry up and graduate already, I’m just incredulous and sick to death of this column. It’s already becoming dreadfully apparent to me that nobody here at Berkeley will ever really comprehend what a year of absolute minutiae and unhealthy shit this person has written for us. There’s never any consequences I guess.
You have the power NOT to read her column #firstworldproblem
The point is not that she oughtta be banned from writing about sex, the POINT is that she has done the near impossible … made reading her writing about sex kind of repulsive. Not just this particular column but damned near every time she forces innocent electrons to spew the stuff within her head. Of course, we *might* overlook her writing if her picture were more attractive but damn, Girl, you a dog.
If the DC wants to get all avant garde and edgy, find someone who can write AND attach a better face to the column. Objectification? It’s your game, DC, don’t be hatin’ those who play along.
We just want this one to go away — and evidently graduation is the only thing that will stop her — because it’s getting a bit nauseating AND embarrassing to the school, students, employees and alums. Outsiders see this and say ‘see, we TOLD you Cal women are all desperate and unattractive’. Ridiculous, of course, except that there she is, proving their case and –no — it ISN’T all liberating and what not to author this column; any more than it’s liberating to hit the stroll on MacArthur Blvd.
Memo to the author: One of these decades, you’re gonna look back on this column and say ‘WTF was I thinking? How come no one told me not to do this’? We tried but, evidently, you hated Daddy too much to listen.
You are a moron, Kia is hot as fuck, blame the photogs for the bad old pic. Seriously, i have met the girl, and she is quite easy on the eyes.. Just Sayin!
“You should always use condoms.”
No, but your parents should have.
Your column is rather hard to digest and I feel diminishes the mystique of being a woman. It just may be only my opinion, but it appears that you used a hammer when it wasn’t necessary. Yes, we are flesh and blood but a woman’s menstrual cycle is about much more then simple physiology.
Kia is a feminist. Feminists are all about women being like men. If women become like men, they lose the mystique (and that’s a good word) of being a woman.
Men just want to get their rocks off. Kia, being a good feminist, believes that women should also place that as their primary goal, because that’s what men do. It’s a bizarre belief structure, but what can you do?
clearly you have no idea what being a feminist means if you think its “all about women being like men”
Based on the way many of them dress and act, what conclusion should you expect?
You learn all about feminism from guys?
I was just wondering why no one had written about this in so long! Not a bad post..
First!