“What do you want to be in life?”
Long, dramatic pause.
“Happy.”
If I had a nickel for every time somebody told me that his or her overarching life goal entailed “happiness,” I’d have enough to confuse and infuriate every cashier whose store I tried to buy anything from.
Age-old question: What’s the meaning of life?
And I don’t just mean life on Earth in general. I’m not asking you, “What’s the meaning of life … for brine shrimp?” No, see, if that were the case, the obvious answer would be: “To eat and reproduce.” Which would be true for lots of organisms, I guess.
But no, I’m asking what the meaning of your life is. What you feel like you were put on this Earth to do in the time allotted to you. Tough question, right?
Actually … apparently not. The other day, I was hanging out with one of my friends. Curious, I asked, “What do you want out of life?” She barely took more than a moment to think about the question before promptly responding with a confident “I just want to be happy.”
Let me just put this out there before I start to sound as if I have a better answer: I do not, nor have ever claimed, to know what the actual “meaning of life” is. I am not God; I’m a little white girl with more freckles than IQ points, and I admittedly probably know a lot less about life than most people do. But in my own personal opinion — as unaccredited as it may be — I don’t think there really is a “meaning” to life at all. And absolutely not one that can be given as a short, simple answer to a philosophical question that profound.
Yet I’ve heard so many people state that they want “to be happy” in life that I’d like to talk about it a little. Because, although I can’t think of a better answer, that one happens to be my least favorite.
As Eleanor Roosevelt once stated, “Happiness is not a goal — it is a by-product.”
People everywhere seem to be getting new cars, impressive jobs, pretty girlfriends, what have you; they seem happy with their lives. It’s very difficult not to see the things that bring other people happiness without feeling inadequate and consequently wanting more. Some of us equate “seeming happy” with “being happy,” but there’s definitely a difference between the two, and some people who excel in the former are truly lacking in the latter. Just as it’s very easy for people with no real problems to act like they have problems, it’s equally easy for miserable people to pretend that they’re happy so that no one asks them what’s wrong. Problems can rarely be seen at surface level. But even so, looking around us at the lives of other people, it’s easy to see what we don’t have and feel as if we’re missing something. We go out in search of things that we could find that would make us feel better, and we turn happiness into a goal.
But “achieving happiness” is an impossible goal, at least when happiness is viewed as something to be achieved. It’s hard to know what it truly means to be “happy.” There’s no scale to measure happiness by, even on a personal scale, and that makes it difficult to determine that we are fully and completely satisfied with life. How can we search for something when we have absolutely no idea what it would mean to actually find it? We simply can’t. This makes “achieving happiness” an impossible goal, and impossible goals are ones that must surely be met with imminent disappointment and failure.
People could talk for millennia about whether or not humans will ever find happiness; they have. So I suppose regardless of whether or not happiness can ever be found, I’d really like to know, above all, what exactly makes happiness so important that we should dedicate our lives to it and want it so badly. In my head, happiness should be avoided. After all, it is actually the absence of happiness that helps us most grow as individuals — adversity strengthens us, and we learn through our mistakes. Personal development would not exist were we all perpetually content with exactly the way we already were.
Do what you love, do what makes you happy. But don’t do anything solely in an attempt to bring yourself happiness. As Eleanor Roosevelt concluded, “The one sure way not to be happy is to deliberately map out a way in life in which one would please oneself completely and exclusively.”
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The meaning of life is to be successful
I liked this a lot
Absolutely. It goes where a lot of people don’t. We stop and think “happiness” is a good solution. But we fail to wonder what it really means
I don’t know what the meaning of life is
beautiful
“But “achieving happiness” is an impossible goal, at least when happiness is viewed as something to be achieved. ”
There is no way to happiness; happiness is the way. I’m only a 22 year-old guy, but here’s what my life experience so far has taught me:
1) There’s different kinds of happiness. Euphoria is not happiness. Emotions are fleeting because the organs that produce emotions produce chemicals that have a finite half-life. You don’t want to be chasing feelings for your whole life.
2) Happiness is more like eudamonia. It is more durable and usually comes from focusing on the happiness of others. Building new talents, new connections, and healthy relationships. As you said about Eleanor: “As Eleanor Roosevelt once stated, “Happiness is not a goal — it is a by-product.”
Is happiness the state of mind where one feels the sensation of fulfillment (or at least the feeling of getting closer to it)? Or is it the state of mind where one is distracted from the lack of fulfillment? In both cases we feel “happy” do we not?
My approach: find the balance between distractions and passion. Passion keeps you fulfilled, distractions keep you sane.
I feel like for a large portion of people in our modern society, when they seek or recognize happiness, they are confusing it for the feeling of comfort. But what if the things that make you comfortable also make you unhappy??? i.e. the fat kid thinking: I EAT CUZ IT MAKES ME HAPPY. BUT I EAT BECAUSE I’M SAD.
comfort is happiness in the most ephemeral form. don’t fall into its trap!
at least not until you’re old
Good topic and food for thought. Happiness is highly overrated. Not that it’s a bad thing, just overrated.
Is this the same chick who was writing all the sex articles? If not… damn, girl. You better find some better colleagues.
nope, she’s brand new,
dipshit.
“Gary Fails At_life”
If anything, I’d be more ashamed about using that kind of inconsistent syntax. Embarrassing!
Apparently, she isn’t making a big enough impression to be differentiated. It isn’t my fault. Maybe she should find another Roosevelt quote, one that illustrates the importance of individuality. That could be her next article.
“dipshit”
… Oooooh, burn. Inconsistent syntax. Embarrassing!
Her name is Mia, the other chick’s name was Kia. Please attempt to learn how to read.
Nah, I’d prefer to be illiterate if it’d prevent me from reading nonsense. But alas, I’m stuck here with you. What a world.
That’s a compliment, I think?
Don’t diminish yourself because you’re young. You have every right to take part in this question. You will find a meaningful life as you live it according to the ministry of the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit can suck my Holy Dick.
A very disrespectful reply to an affable comment.
Affable? Hardly. More like extremely condescending and smarmy.
Set goals for yourself and you’ll find greater satisfaction in meeting those goals than if someone had given you unearned rewards.
To be purposeful.
Satisfying conclusion!
The meaning of life is love. Specifically discovering if you want to love and who you want to love. Mia and your readers, what I hope for all of you is that you find that you do things to show love for others, and it brings you love, and allows you to love yourself.
If the meaning of life were love we should all take ecstasy.
If love isn’t something you care for then ecstasy would be a good way to avoid it. The question of life is do you want love or not? You have a certain amount of time to answer that question, and in the end you will know your answer. Sorry it sounds so new age, because it isn’t. Love isn’t mindless. It is the most serious thing there is, and our world lives and dies based on how people love or don’t love.
You missed my point. Saying “love” is the meaning of life is as arbitrary as designating faith, good will to man, love of art, or the advancement of knowledge as the meaning of life. No doubt, all good causes. But what makes you raise love above all else?
Humans are meaning creating creatures. We deduce meaning from random noise all the time. I do think that a life with meaning is better in many ways than a life without meaning. But I think it is fruitful to recognize the essentially artificial nature of meaning.
For example, Sir Isaac Newton was a massive asshole. He had few friends and died a virgin. Yet his name and laws will be remembered as long as humanity exists. Is that a less meaningful life than some half-serious hookup?
I get what you are saying. Then it is time for me to possibly upset you by stating that the specific meaning is to decide if you love God or not. Think of life as a time when you get to know yourself and understand if you want an eternal relationship or not. I use this as the foundation for meaning, because if there isn’t this foundation, then life can mean anything you want it to mean, because you are the only one that matters.
I’m not upset but I am distressed at how banal your worldview is.
I don’t buy into the premise that the absence of a divine presence would cause a moral vacuum and extreme selfishness. Altruism is a fundamental part of human nature. The most obvious example would be the sacrifices parents make for their children.
I think we will have to agree to disagree. I do think it is your responsibility as an adult to do something meaningful with what time you have. You don’t have a second chance. You have one chance to make a dent in the universe before you pass into oblivion.
Hopefully, you will love what you find meaning in. But
there a lot difficult, sucky things which are nevertheless quite important. If I am ever faced with a choice like that I hope I pick the harder, more important path. I hope you do too.
What do you think is the meaning of life?
I apologize if I misread you.
I don’t think there is a meaning to life other than the ones you create for yourself. I find reward in my work which makes life better for others.
I am just trying to think of that thing which links all of our meanings together. So I would say your love for others has you finding reward in your work, which makes life better for others. Of course, maybe I should go with something less emotional and say that the meaning of life is us thinking. We think, therefore we are, becomes we think, therefore we have meaning. I still hope your life brings love to others and back to yourself.