Spring is setting in, and boys, you know what that means: tank tops, shorts and bikini-clad girls on Memorial Glade. During those cold winter months, you may have forgotten about the existence of that other sex under layers of bulky, cozy clothing, but we’re sure that these warm weeks to come will jog your memory.
But then, you may ask, how does one interact with these strange creatures?
For a lot of guys, talking to a potential love interest is effortless — they’re suave, seamlessly picking up on social cues and always saying the right things. But this intuition is far from universal — especially at an institution as academically advanced as Berkeley, many males crumble during conversations with female peers.
From Romeo’s smooth lines at Juliet’s balcony to Jay Gatsby’s opulent parties and the ways of modern pickup artists, the art of “wooing women” has been deeply pondered and debated for centuries. But this week, the Clog stumbled upon a College Confidential thread that brings the topic to Berkeley. Tantalized by “the abundance of gorgeous women at Berkeley” and surging with “sex hormones,” a second-semester Cal EECS major asked for a “mode of action” to win a girl’s interest. As expected from an anonymous Internet thread, his simple request was answered with a barrage of racist, sexist and often irrelevant advice — so we decided to tackle the issue.
Although there is no foolproof algorithm for “wooing” women, here are six tips that will improve any guy’s chances of winning a Berkeley girl’s affection.
1. Start face-to-face.
Yes, even if you are the master of Google, you should always start a relationship with a girl in person. You can probably find her number, email, address, friends, favorite activities – you name it – online, but using this information before she has divulged it specifically to you is … creepy.
2. What’s she doing?
Not all moments are meant for intersexual conversations. Before you get acquainted with a girl, make sure it’s a convenient time. If she’s rushing to class, on her cellphone or focusing intently on something, don’t disrupt her — even the most handsome, charming man in Berkeley could be coldly received by a preoccupied woman. Instead, strike up a conversation with someone who’s ready to talk. For instance, girls standing in the endless lines of the GBC or eating lunch alone at Foothill will probably welcome your company!
3. Establish common ground.
Since most people are inherently self-interested, it can be extremely advantageous to find things in common with a girl. These similarities will enhance your first impression and make you “stick” better in her mind. While similar classes, interests, hobbies or upbringings are classic examples, you can connect with someone over something as simple as the weather (Berkeley provides plenty of excitement in that category), an outfit or your plans for the day.
4. Treat her like an individual.
Though a pickup artist may stress that his secrets will work on any woman, remember that every girl is unique. Throwing the same pickup line at 100 girls won’t get you anywhere. With time, find out what makes her laugh, what makes her mad and what makes her excited about living. Showing a genuine interest in the facets of another person’s character will at least win you a valuable friendship and, if you’re lucky, maybe even a partner in love.
5. Be authentically YOU.
Girls are equipped with a radar for detecting fake personalities. You don’t have to play the role of slick douchebag, drown her in a list of your accomplishments or pretend to like her favorite bands — just be confident in yourself! Women flock toward truly confident men, and who knows — the right girl might find your “flaws” endearing. Oh, and never ridicule other people to boost your standing in her eyes. Women want a man who stands calmly on his own two feet.
6. Leave a little mystery ;)
If your first interaction is going well, don’t overstay your welcome. Don’t follow her home. Don’t sit through one of her classes just to prolong the conversation. Women love men of mystery! After you’ve gotten to know her, ask nonchalantly for a phone number or last name (for Facebook) if your meeting went well. But then, say goodbye. If a woman divulges her number, she’ll probably be thinking about you for the rest of the day.
Contact Katherine Velicki at [email protected]