April is the cruelest month. Study for midterms. Curse your Facebook newsfeed. Vow to avoid Sproul. Regardless of whether your friends are running or not, cast a disinterested air and pretend to hate it all.
Make fun of candidates and their idiocy for choosing to participate in student government. Laugh with your friends about how cool you are for being uninvolved. Turn an apathetic eye every time someone mentions local politics. Bates, Worthington, Arreguin. These names mean nothing to you. It’s so fucking boring. You’re here to get a degree and then bounce. You’re here to learn how to make money. You’re here to screw around for four years before moving on to bigger and better things.
You don’t need this city, and this city doesn’t need you. The same goes for the ASUC and the administration. Berkeley cries, “Fuck the corporations! Fuck the government!,” and you echo. Nah, who are we kidding? Berkeley cries, “Fuck the corporations! Fuck the government!,” and you scorn the plebeians wasting their time with sticks and signs.
So walk through rain, walk through sunshine with your earbuds in and your head down. Walk like there’s no tomorrow, lest you get accosted by fliers and do-gooders. It’s all a popularity contest. It’s all pointless.
Walk by People’s Park, and fear for your safety. Walk down Telegraph, and despise the smell of urine-saturated concrete; ignore the cold, numb fingers shaking for spare change, because at this point, you’re the one who’s numb to it all. Walk through Berkeley, back to your apartment that you’re paying far too much for. Walk through the city you consider a hippie dump. If it weren’t for this school’s reputation, you’d be living the high life in Brentwood or Isla Vista.
Plug into the Internet. People chat you on Facebook to remind you, DON’T FORGET TO VOTE! Log out on them. Go to sleep wishing no one cared, just like you.
Wake up the next morning and realize that your wishes have come true. Dreams aren’t just for princesses and presidents — the ASUC is gone. Rejoice as you walk through a peaceful Sproul.
Watch as the school cuts millions from its budget because it no longer needs to support the functioning of the ASUC. Celebrate when your fees and tuition subsequently go down. Revel in a silent spring. Delight that UCPD presence decreases; they no longer need to manage protests.
Keep watching.
Watch as student groups diminish or disappear. Watch as only The Daily Californian and clubs with either self-sustaining sources of revenue or minimal monetary needs remain. The campus gets dead-quiet at night because the only reason you or anyone else needs to be around in the late hours is for the library.
Watch as you lose an advocate with the city. Watch as the city denigrates further into mediocrity and no one cares enough to raise a finger. Rage in furious silence as the rent goes up and the supply of affordable housing depletes. Rage as long ignored issues continue to go ignored — lighting on Telegraph remains dim, crime remains rampant and safety remains poor. Rage when friends or classmates are sexually assaulted and the city and campus fail to put together a coherent response. Regret that UCPD presence has dissipated, because Berkeley Police Department is failing to deliver, and your walks home aren’t feeling any safer.
Rent is jacked up again, and that’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back. You’re done being furiously silent. Realize that you have no idea what avenues you can access that would allow you to articulate your displeasure. Search something up on the Internet. Go to a City Council meeting. Wish that the names Bates, Worthington and Arreguin meant something to you. Express your dismay as a public commenter. Two minutes is not nearly enough. Wonder why the council is surprised to see a student at the meeting. “You’re the first student we’ve had here in months!” they say. “We didn’t know even know this was a problem.” Realize you don’t know what you’re doing or how to get through to these nine.
Wonder why people aren’t speaking up. Wonder where all the protesters and activists have gone. Wonder why the school isn’t doing anything.
Then remember that you do not care; you wished for it, and no one else cares. You’re here to get a degree and then bounce. You don’t need this city, and this city doesn’t need you. The city festers in mediocrity, oblivious to “student issues” because there’s no one around to make them salient.
But you’re happy, remember? You’re very, very happy because, goddamn it, at the very least, no one is bothering you to vote.
Contact Lynn Yu at [email protected] or follow her on Twitter: @lynnqyu.