For those of you who have successfully maintained a long-distance relationship at Cal, we applaud you. Seriously, bravo. (No, this isn’t sarcasm.) Long-distance relationships can be really tough, and we here at the Daily Clog know exactly what you’re going through. If you’re currently in a long distance relationship and are absolutely, without a doubt, in love with your significant other, we can tell you that we seriously have no idea how you’re doing it — but keep it up! But if you’re contemplating pursuing a long-distance relationship during your time at Cal, we’ve got a couple of things that you should probably keep in mind:
1. Time difference. You have to admit getting a text saying, “OMG, so glad I’m done with my classes today!” just as you’re waking up to the 8 a.m. ringing of the Campanile’s bells would get pretty annoying. Or imagine getting a text that says, “Good morning, sweetie. How’s your day going?” when you’re drunk off of your a$$ down frat row somewhere.
2. When describing Cal to significant others, they’ll be like, “WTF?” As a Cal student, you’ve probably tried to explain things about Berk to some friends who don’t go to Cal and ended up saying, “Sorry … I can’t explain it. It’s a Berkeley thing.” You probably felt like a pretentious douchebag, but you couldn’t help it! It is a Berkeley thing. Imagine trying to explain to your significant other that you couldn’t hear them on a phone because a homeless man on Sproul was angrily preaching to you. And how would you even begin to explain what a Berkeley co-op is like? “Oh, the needle disposals? They were just next to me on the wall while I was peeing! Don’t worry! I’m fine!” Please, be honest with yourself, and imagine what that sounds like on the other end.
3. You’re going to get jealous of your sexually experimental Cal friends very quickly. Here at Cal, we can guarantee that you will make a very diverse group of friends. Of that group, at least one will probably be sexually adventurous and will tell you about the awesome sexcapades that he or she has had. When that happens, you’re bound to grow envious of the amount of action they’re getting compared to you. You could read the Daily Cal’s “Sex on Tuesday” column and attempt to live vicariously through the numerous column writers, but you don’t need us to tell you that it won’t be the same as the real thing.
4. Berkeley love is fun. There are countless fun activities to do around Berkeley, and if you’re in a long-distance relationship, you don’t get the privilege of sharing those activities with your significant other. Think about how fun it would be to lie out on Memorial Glade together, wait forever in line at Ici or ride bikes through campus together while holding hands (only do the last one if you’re coordinated enough).
5. Give some Bears a chance. We’ve got about 36 thousand students at Cal, and within those 36 thousand students, the probability that you’ll find someone physically and emotionally attractive to you is pretty high. That cute girl in your political econ class whose favorite movie is “The Darjeeling Limited” and whose favorite band is Pink Floyd? You can’t have her. That hottie that in your Math 1B discussion who shoots you that alluring grin when you walk into class every Tuesday? You can’t have him. Unless you have already found “the one,” you may be missing out on finding whoever that person is. And that person may very well be a Bear.
If you’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship at Cal, what are some problems you’ve had? Let us know in the comments!
Image source: procsilas under Creative Commons.
Contact Gabrielle Nguyen at [email protected]