Best places on campus to have sex

library
http://thinkplace.berkeley.edu/tags/west-side/File

Let’s be frank. UC Berkeley students like to get funky in … interesting places. Many students even have “bucket lists” for locations around campus where they want to get it on. Some spots sound sexy, daring and fun, while others do not. Here, the Clog rounds up the best places on campus to have sex.

1. Crossroads dining hall

crossroads

Who wouldn’t want to be sandwiched between a hunk of meat and, literally, a hunk of meat? Swipe that dining card for bottomless brunches and late-night specials.

2. Sproul Plaza

sproul

If you’re into being whacked in the face by fliers while you do it doggy-style, Sproul Plaza is your ultimate sex destination. Saddle up, spread on the sunscreen, and get funky in the most crowded area on campus.

3. Golden Bear Cafe checkout counter

gbc

Many have tried; few have succeeded. Are you agile enough to thump the shiny metal counter, pay for your chicken nuggets, and battle the rush of hungry students all at once? This is college multitasking at its finest.

4. Evans Hall basement computer lab

COMPUTER LAB

If you’re the type to have sexual fantasies about extension cords and gray carpets, try the Evans Hall basement computer lab next time you’re looking for a spot to romp. Be serenaded by the background hum of computer screens, the clicking of keyboards and the occasional cough of the computer science major sitting next to you.

5. Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory

lab

Nothing is sexier than climaxing on top of the very first particle accelerator. Physical sciences? You bet.

6. The career center

carreer

There’s nothing wrong with a little S&M in the midst of some Q&A. Nail your interview skills while nailing a partner.

7. Public health library 

library

Health education is on the rise, and what better way to learn about safe sex than to directly engage in it? Just remember to be healthy when you bump nasty.

8. Lower Sproul construction area

construction

All that empty space needs to be used for something productive, right? Put those construction supplies to good use and sledgehammer your way to a complete renovation.

9. Moses Hall philosophy department

moses

Want to be glared at by intellectuals contemplating the meaning of life? Get deep and go knee-deep.

10. The Campanile

bell

The pinnacle of sensual intimacy, the bell tower will clang its loud carillons right into your ears as you make love to your sweetheart. Even better, after you’ve finished your romp, onlookers get to ride the elevator down with you.

Happy April Fool’s Day from the Clog! 

Image credits: Keith Cuddeback Photography, berkeley.edu, boudreaupipeline.org, nobelprize.org, dailycal.org, epa.gov, mroxymoron.wordpress.com. All stick-figure artistic credit goes to Daniela Grinblatt

Contact Daniela Grinblatt at [email protected].