Tips for maintaining a long-distance relationship while at UC Berkeley

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Long-distance relationships are hard, but they are possible.

Whether you were high school sweethearts or met in community college, going to college doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your relationship.

Here are some things to consider if you want to maintain a long-distance relationship while you’re at UC Berkeley:

1. Is it serious?

This may seem obvious, but before committing to anything, make sure you know how serious your relationship is! UC Berkeley is ranked as the No. 1 national public university on U.S. News & World Report’s Top Public National University list, which means that you’re going to meet a variety of amazing and talented people. Your partner should understand that you’ll be meeting new people and making lots of new connections. If he or she is not comfortable with that, then the relationship may not work out. And if either you or your partner don’t want to be tied down, you should definitely talk about it. Being honest will only benefit the relationship.

2. Plan for the future

Planning for the future doesn’t mean you have to talk about getting married or having kids — but feel free to talk about it if comfortable! Just look at the next year or two and make plans to see each other. Plan to see each other on anniversaries, holidays and birthdays. If possible, try to keep the visits consistent, such as planning for every two weeks, once per month or once every three months. Look at the UC Berkeley academic calendar to see when you have breaks and to stay on top of important dates.

3. Technology

Invest in technology. Cellphones, text messaging and FaceTime will help you keep in touch. Use technology on a daily basis. Texting each other between classes can show that you’re thinking about each other. Having FaceTime “homework dates” can help to integrate your school and personal lives. Skype and ooVoo are also lifesavers. Other examples of virtual dates include going to cafes around campus such as the Free Speech Movement Cafe and Brewed Awakening. And if you take pictures of yourself around campus, your partner will be able to see what you do every day!

4. Make time meaningful

Being away from each other means that you should take advantage of the time you have with your significant other. Try not to argue or fight on these special occasions. Don’t waste your precious time. Instead, enjoy each other’s company and make each visit meaningful. If arguments happen, there are resources available at the Tang Center to help you work through relationship or individual problems. As a plus, the first five sessions are free! If you want more information about the services offered, click here.

5. Loyalty

Staying loyal is incredibly important. You may have the desire to find someone new to fill the spot of your physically absent partner, but it is best to refrain from doing this. Getting too close to another person can result in either person developing feelings for one another and leading to an awkward situation or a potential breakup. Make sure your intentions are clear.

Contact Hopi Hernandez at [email protected].