For reasons unbeknown to most, there have been multiple instances of llamas parading through the Berkeley area in the past few weeks. Though these spectacles are probably blatant exploitation of said llamas, we can’t help but feel extreme spasms of joy every time we actually encounter the lamoids — Wikipedia reports that this fun word can be used to describe groups of llamas. An intrinsic obsession for llamas appears to be programmed into our genetics, causing students of all kinds to engage in nonviolent llama-hunting — in other words, running through Berkeley searching for the llamas in order to take the perfect Snapchat story. It might be quite a while ’til the llamas leave their natural habitats and grace Berkeley with their presence, but no prob-llama — for when you’ve got the llama blues, the Clog has procured this post to give you a glimpse of what it would be like for our llama friends to spend more time at UC Berkeley.
They’d obviously have to start out with the extremely vital CalSO experience to get their Cal IDs (though it might be hard for them to learn the time warp).
Welcome Week would be a blast – they would have no problem getting into any party they wanted.
Their first finals week would be like nothing they’d ever encountered before, and they’d probably join the naked run to relieve their stress.
The llamas would naturally become so well known on campus that they would get their own “Berkeley is…” posters.
Maybe they’d be so into UC Berkeley spirit that they’d join our defensive line altogether – talk about intimidation factor.
Or, depending on their personal level of athleticism, maybe some llamas would join Rally Committee.
“Go Bears,” “Go Greek,” and “Go Llamas.”
In the end, they’d probably end up actually getting degrees and being able to take cute graduation photos with their besties!
Contact Claralyse Palmer at [email protected].