If you’re anything like us here at the Clog, you’re getting pretty sick of what men’s fashion trends have come to these days. Bro tanks, flip flops, Dropbox T-shirts, snapbacks … who decided this was OK?! Some people have made it pretty clear that they are equally unsatisfied with certain women’s fashion trends. We at the Clog do not think that anyone should tell you what you should and should not wear. So we are here to do exactly that.
Here’s to bringing back the very best of men’s fashion. We have no idea why any of it ever left!
1. Layering polos
Trying to look like a classy frat star but don’t have the arms or ego for a revealing tank top? Why not bring it back a few decades to the era in which polos not only dominated — they reigned. The key is to layer one over another to let everyone know you really mean business. And don’t just stop at two! When it comes to these short-sleeved, high-collared beauties, our motto is, the more the merrier. Fun tip: The more colors you wear, the more appetizing you look — like a smoothie.
What do a regular old pair of jeans do to show off your incredible personality? Nothing. Bring out your inner flare with some outer flare … right around the ankles. And let’s not forget the best part — they also come in corduroy! Go the full monty and see what happens next time you’re out on the town. Saturday night fever, anyone?
While we do appreciate snapbacks for giving us fair warning about what kind of people we’re about to converse with, we think it might be in your best interests to wear something a little more enticing. Not only do they come in a variety of cool colors and patterns, fedoras also scream sex appeal, and we guarantee you some serious game increase if you start wearing one. If you can pull off one of these Jason Mraz-inspired looks, “I’m Yours.”
4. Heavily unbuttoned button-downs
The best part about this trend is that you already own the necessary materials. Now, all you have to do is unbutton the shirt a button or two past your usual comfort zone … and then unbutton it like three more times. We all know that everyone is super into huge pecs, so if you’re not quite there yet, just hit the gym a few times a day for the next couple months. You and your date will be comparing cleavage in no time! And if you’re not so sure about showing off all this skin, wear an undershirt beneath the button down. Now that’s classy.
5. Short shorts
So, we’ve already started to see this trend emerging to some extent during our recent autumn heat wave, but we think that certain improvements in length can be made. This is a great way to show off those juicy thighs at the RSF. Think NBA uniforms circa 1974 or Michael Cera’s running shorts in “Juno.” Now we’re talkin’.
6. Gold chains
Last — but most certainly not least —please bring the bling back. Nothing will make you more noticeable than having light catch that hint of gold around your neck as you’re dancing the night away at an underground Berkeley dance party. And nothing says, “I’ll treat you right,” like a delicate gold chain. We’re practically melting just writing this.
Contact Summer Langton at [email protected].