Wait — before we lose your attention, at least give us a chance to explain. We at the Clog promise you will be pleasantly surprised. If not, well, you can’t really do anything about it. But if we could put money on it, you are probably sitting in class bored out of your mind. So we are doing you the service of entertainment. So thank us now, thank us later, thank us never — no big deal.
When we hear the word “autobiography,” we automatically zone out. It hurls us back to middle school, where we dreaded the assigned reading about some dead white dude while our backpack was empty because of the lack of shits we gave. We were that badass back in sixth grade. How could we possibly be interested in an autobiography? Last time I checked, there are no sparkling vampires, arrow-shooting Katniss Everdeens or Hogwarts found in the pages of an autobiography.
But you know what? We are mature adults now (at least, that’s what people keep telling us) and it is not all Frederick Douglas and Benjamin Franklin out there, putting us to sleep with their accounts of early American history. It is time we gave this genre another chance.
- “Bossypants” – Tina Fey
The “Saturday Night Live” comedian you know and love has an autobiography about her life lessons in the biz. When she is not writing “30 Rock” or movies such as “Mean Girls,” she is perfectly embodying the political satire of “I can see Russia from my house.” So every time you say, “You can’t sit with us,” or “You go, Glen Coco,” you are actually unknowingly quoting the words of Tina Fey. With an impressive career, she tells her truly inspiring story while also giving you some abs along the way from all your laughter. Written by the youngest recipient of the Mark Twain Award for Humor in 2010 for this hilarious book, it is a must read.
- “Scar Tissue” – Anthony Kiedis
Just like the name of one of the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ hit songs, this autobiography by the lead singer of the band dives into his battle with drug addiction. So if you want to live life on the edge like a rockstar without the negative repercussions, this is the book for you. This inside look into the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle of the 1970s, a historical period for legendary music, gives us an idea of our parents’ rebellious teen stage on which they reminisce anytime ACDC or Jimi Hendrix comes on the radio. While it is poignantly honest and at points upsetting, it is worth the read for the uplifting message about life and a little taste of the wild side.
- “Eat, Pray, Love” – Elizabeth Gilbert
Although we are all huge fans of Julia Roberts — who isn’t obsessed with “Pretty Woman”? — go straight to the actual source for this story. We should always keep a book around that tells us to enjoy the finer things in life, such as pizza, wine and yoga. So, after reading, channel your self-realization and head over to Fat Slice for a slice of life. Who says we can’t find enlightenment without leaving Berkeley?
- “Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Woman’s Prison” – Piper Kerman
Yes, we have all seen the Netflix episodes with some raunchy lesbian scenes. But did you know it was a book first? And that it’s actually someone’s life story? Well, you heard it here first from the Daily Clog. Alright, we already knew all of this. Piper is the Martha Stewart of the woman’s correctional facility — except Martha Stewart never had to leave Martha’s Vineyard. Instead of getting the fast-paced Netflix original series, dive into this autobiography for the truth about the justice system and life in prison. You never know when you might find yourself sporting that orange jumpsuit with a blazer!
- “Steve Jobs” — Walter Isaacson
OK, you caught us: This is not actually an autobiography. It is written by Walter Isaacson at the request of Jobs — so it is a loose definition “auto”-biography, because we know what it’s like to be too busy inventing the iPhone to humble brag about our own success. Hats off to our Bay Area legend for dropping out of college, dropping acid from time to time and still becoming a billionaire. If midterm season has got you down, take a page from Jobs’ book. … And yes, I think this is an appropriate time to state that The Daily Californian does not promote or condone dropping out nor recreational drug use. But maybe we should be asking ourselves more often: “WWJD?” And I’m not talking about Jesus Christ.