It’s almost the end of the school year, and everyone from your friends to your parents to your neighbors to random strangers are starting to ask you questions about school that you’re not quite ready to answer. We at the Clog are here to save you from blurting out the thoughts you should keep to yourself and provide terrific answers that will please any prospective student’s mom.
How did you like your roommate?
Reality: There are some days where I just want to take a giant kitchen knife and stab it through her wall as a warning — like that time her boyfriend slept over and his alarm rang three times in the middle of night when I had an early morning midterm. I still don’t understand how neither of them woke up from the alarm.
Appropriate answer: “Oh, I just adore her — we get along so well! The year wouldn’t be the same without my lovely roommate! I’m going to miss her so much next year!”
How did you do in [x] class?
Reality: Well … I bombed it with an atomic-mushroom-cloud-you-can-see-from-space kind of bomb. Then I took a shower. What tears? Just very poorly pressurized water flowing down my face.
Appropriate answer: “Yeah, I did fine — average, you know. It wasn’t bad, but I definitely could’ve done better.”
Or, if you’re feeling confident: “Yeah, I did great! I scored an entire standard deviation from average” (in the wrong direction, but they’ll never know).
Why do you like UC Berkeley?
Reality: Because I go to this school? It’s in the Bay Area, where there are cool people? It’s all about freedom of speech, and protests are the norm. Helicopters and tear gas? No big deal. But I can’t go in that direction — that’s a slippery slope, where I’d recount how I nearly ended up in jail last year because I marched on the freeway.
Appropriate answer: “I just love the people and the professors here! Everyone is so supportive and helpful. There are so many resources available such as SLC, OCF, ASC, RSF, GBC, etc. that made my time here at Berkeley so wonderful. These are privileges every student should be taking advantage of.”
How was freshman year?
Reality: Aha … haha … I got plastered too many times, spent too much money on takeout instead of eating at a dining hall, didn’t do any of my class readings until the night before because no one yelled at me to do homework — but I still got a B on the paper. I did my laundry a total of four times. One time, I walked into the wrong classroom and sat down for 10 minutes before I realized it was the wrong room, so I had to stay the entire time and pretend like I actually knew what was going on. I ate cereal for dinner and skipped class like a mature adult who makes her own decisions. You know, classic freshman mistakes. Of course, I never experimented with a lanyard as a fashion statement, thank goodness.
Appropriate answer: “It was great! It was mostly getting used to school, the residence hall and the new environment — lots of transitioning. I definitely feel more responsible and ready to take on the world! But waking up for 8 a.m. classes is a new struggle — I could never jump out of bed at 6 a.m. like I did in high school. Overall, it was a fabulous year, and I can’t wait for the next school year to begin!”
Image Sources: Lauren under Creative Commons
Contact Stephanie Wang at [email protected].