What your least favorite vegetable says about you

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Rick Ligthelm/Creative Commons

In case you didn’t know, June 17 is Eat Your Veggies Day. Though it may seem unnecessary, a day devoted to eating your vegetables actually makes a lot of sense considering how few of us successfully do this very activity on a daily basis. We at the Clog can’t make you eat your vegetables, but we can make you feel bad about not eating them. Here is a list of 20 vegetables in alphabetical order and the “significant” implications they have about your life if you’re not particularly fond of them. So maybe your diet isn’t the most balanced — at least now you know a little something more about yourself. Now, go eat a vegetable.

Artichoke

Artichoke Basille’s Pizza was not one of your most exciting finds when you first got to Berkeley.

 

Asparagus

You have a low threshold for scent detection because you can smell a difference in your pee after eating asparagus.

 

Avocado

You do not need to pay extra for the Den wraps or Chipotle burritos.

 

Basil

You don’t like to spice up your life.

 

Bean sprouts

Those bean sprouts the waiters at Pho give you will always go to waste.

 

Broccoli

You have to actually look at the menu at Chinese restaurants and can’t just order the basic “orange chicken” and “beef and broccoli.”

 

Brussels sprouts

The bitter taste of Brussels sprouts reminds you of how bitter your life is.

 

Cabbage

You don’t discriminate, because whether they’re green or purple, you hate both types of cabbages.

 

Carrots

The importance of carotene doesn’t mean anything to you.

 

Celery

The only time eating celery is acceptable is when it is dipped in ranch or peanut butter.

 

Corn

Festivals do not equate to waiting in a long line for parmesan chili corn for you.

 

Cucumber

“Deuce Bigalow “ruined cucumbers for you forever.

 

Eggplant

The only time you reference eggplant is when you use it symbolically as a penis emoji when texting.

 

Kale

You did not order Beyonce’s Kale shirt from the “7/11” music video.

 

Lettuce

You cheat on your diets by drenching your salad in a ton of dressing.

 

Mushroom

You are that friend who refuses to compromise when ordering a shared pizza, taking away everyone’s privilege of adding mushrooms.

 

Onion

Your significant other must appreciate the fact that you will never have onion breath.

 

Spinach

That’s one less thing you have to be worried about stuck in your teeth.

 

Squash

You did not go head over heels for pumpkin spice lattes like the rest of the world.

 

Zucchini

The epic cooking scene at the end of “Ratatouille” did not make you hungry.

 

Image source: Rick Ligthelm via Creative Commons

Contact Catherine Straus at [email protected].