In case you didn’t know, June 17 is Eat Your Veggies Day. Though it may seem unnecessary, a day devoted to eating your vegetables actually makes a lot of sense considering how few of us successfully do this very activity on a daily basis. We at the Clog can’t make you eat your vegetables, but we can make you feel bad about not eating them. Here is a list of 20 vegetables in alphabetical order and the “significant” implications they have about your life if you’re not particularly fond of them. So maybe your diet isn’t the most balanced — at least now you know a little something more about yourself. Now, go eat a vegetable.
Artichoke Basille’s Pizza was not one of your most exciting finds when you first got to Berkeley.
You have a low threshold for scent detection because you can smell a difference in your pee after eating asparagus.
You do not need to pay extra for the Den wraps or Chipotle burritos.
You don’t like to spice up your life.
Those bean sprouts the waiters at Pho give you will always go to waste.
You have to actually look at the menu at Chinese restaurants and can’t just order the basic “orange chicken” and “beef and broccoli.”
The bitter taste of Brussels sprouts reminds you of how bitter your life is.
You don’t discriminate, because whether they’re green or purple, you hate both types of cabbages.
The importance of carotene doesn’t mean anything to you.
The only time eating celery is acceptable is when it is dipped in ranch or peanut butter.
Festivals do not equate to waiting in a long line for parmesan chili corn for you.
“Deuce Bigalow “ruined cucumbers for you forever.
The only time you reference eggplant is when you use it symbolically as a penis emoji when texting.
You did not order Beyonce’s Kale shirt from the “7/11” music video.
You cheat on your diets by drenching your salad in a ton of dressing.
You are that friend who refuses to compromise when ordering a shared pizza, taking away everyone’s privilege of adding mushrooms.
Your significant other must appreciate the fact that you will never have onion breath.
That’s one less thing you have to be worried about stuck in your teeth.
You did not go head over heels for pumpkin spice lattes like the rest of the world.
The epic cooking scene at the end of “Ratatouille” did not make you hungry.
Image source: Rick Ligthelm via Creative Commons
Contact Catherine Straus at [email protected].