‘Tis the season for UC Berkeley club applications

blog illustration thing please rename copy
Katie Jocelyn/Staff

Fall at UC Berkeley means football season, the occasional (or daily) pumpkin spice latte and piles and piles of club applications. From DeCals to clubs, almost everything you want to do outside of class requires an extensive application. If you want to practice for a competitive club’s application (for which you’ve been procrastinating for weeks) feel free to practice with this application created by the Clog.  If you can handle these questions you’ll be ready for any question!

Personal information

  1. Name: Willy Wonka
  2. Year: 2nd year
  3. Major: Nutritional Science
  4. Hometown: The Chocolate Factory
  5. Typical Chipotle order: Steak bowl with tortilla on the side, cheese, lettuce and white rice

Necessary personal details

  1. How long does it take you to walk from Telegraph Avenue to Northgate Hall? Well, when I’m feeling swell, I can make it in fewer than 10 minutes. But that rarely happens, to be honest.
  2. Where are you normally Tuesdays at 8:40 p.m.? I don’t remember. I think I’m showering. Sometimes I play basketball at the RSF, though.
  3. Favorite class at UC Berkeley? Tough one. I think the drugs and the brain class was pretty cool.

Essential personal details

  1. Do any of your professors have pets? If so, what kind and what are their names? My political science professor has three cats. Their names are Salt, Pepper and Gertrude. I don’t know about the rest of my professors, but I can ask!
  2. Describe a weakness you have: I’m very lazy and generally don’t make it to my 8 a.m. classes.
  3. Describe a strength you have: I always catch Bear Transit on time to go from Telegraph Avenue to Pimentel Hall.

Short questions: Please respond to these questions in 2 to 3 sentences and preferably translate your answers into another language.

  1. Why do you want to join this club? I want to join this club because I’d like to expand my resume and think this would be a great experience to do so. I’ve always been interested in what this club does and I consider myself the best candidate. I’m also really friendly and enthusiastic and love to sing and give chocolate to people (even to you, if you choose me to join the club).
  2. What skills can you bring to this club? Can you make delicious food? If so, please submit sample dishes/ baked goods along with your completed application. I’m the best singer and dancer, so if you need to put on a show, I’m your go-to. I can also make the world’s most delicious chocolate, I’ll bring some to my interview next week!
  3. Give us a brief overview of your entire life … We just really want to get to know you and what you’re passionate about. I was born with a passion to make people happy and provide the world with the best chocolate (that I shall share with you all, as stated above). I built a large factory where I met a nice dude named Charlie, he’s a cool guy, I guess. I can introduce you to Charlie at some point, he might come to UC Berkeley as well and would be an excellent addition to this club. But enough about Charlie, I really want to join this club and I’m passionate about chocolate. Lots of chocolate. Also, I want to sell my chocolate factory, any takers?

P.S. I don’t know another language. Should I enroll in Arabic 1? My schedule isn’t that busy and I’ve heard it’s pretty doable (or did I hear it was very complicated? I don’t remember). Anyway, the point is that I would do anything to be a part of this club!

Extra information (not necessary, but it would make a difference)

Please include a scanned copy of a writing sample from the second grade. We use a ranked point system and sometimes we need to break ties using some of your older work. Hopefully your second grade self had good penmanship, varied sentence structure and excellent word choice.

References 

Gives us the information stated below for a person that can attest to your abilities. Make sure that they’re available for a 45 minute interview with us.

Name: Charlie

Email: [email protected]

Blood type: O+

Contact Martha Morrissey at [email protected].