Snapchat lenses as modeled by Chancellor Dirks

Chancellor Dirks Commonwealth
Jennifer Tanji/File

If you’re a regular Snapchat user, you’ve probably tried out the new “lens” feature on the recent update by now. While it was fun to play around for the first couple of days, you may have already lost interest after going through all seven lenses and sending out one or two to amuse (and likely horrify) your friends.  Or perhaps you just think you’ve lost interest, but really you just ran out of ideas for captions or scenarios that the lenses are appropriate for.  No worries — we at the Clog have come up with a list of plausible captions for each lens as modeled by our favorite chancellor.

Eerie lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

This is an effective lens if you’re ever anticipating imminent danger and want to send out an SOS to your followers.

Sample captions: 

“PSA: threatening squirrel on campus.”

“I sense a forthcoming icebreaker!”

“Didn’t read. GSI smells fear.”

“Comrades, it’s time to check BearFacts.”

“Approaching two flyerers. Can’t escape.”

Heart eye lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

This lens can be used to convey appreciation for the little things in life — things that are actually pretty irrelevant to normal people, but not to you.

Sample captions:

“Damn, so many empty cubicles at Main Stacks.”

“Hot GSI remembered my name, it’s love!”

“When you have a friend with meal points.”

“When AirBears2 regains your trust.”

“Did someone say free Chipotle?!”

Shattered glass lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

It’s over. You’ve admitted defeat. You feel as if everything has fallen to pieces, just like this glass screen.

Sample captions:

“Day 1 and just stepped on the seal.”

“Realizing you missed your BART train.”

“48 hours to learn linear algebra. RIP.”

“No AC and currently drenched in sweat.”

“Left rain boots at home. Awesome.”

Crazy eye lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

This lens is for those times when your impulsive actions or language might cause yourself or others to question your mental stability.

Sample captions:

“Sleep is for the weak!”

“Watching the naked run like … ”

“More construction, I beg you!”

“Just checked my monthly CARS bill.”

“Two seconds is plenty of time to cross!”

Code red lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

Try using this lens to emphasize the panic sessions you put yourself through on a regular basis.

Sample captions:

“Parents coming in T-2 hours!”

“Phone at one percent must find outlet!”

“Tinder match, 7:00 p.m.!”

“‘Sorry, cash only.’ What’s cash?!”

“51B arriving in one minute. Go go go!”

Fever lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

This lens is useful to illustrate all the thoughts that go through your head when you’re actually sick, wishing you were sick or feeling gross.

Sample captions:

“Just ate my weight in dorm food — yay.”

“Can I get an extension if I’m sick?”

“When you eat sushi from GBC … ”

“I think the plague just hit the third floor.”

“At least this justifies skipping my 8 a.m.”

“What?” lens

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Jasmine Tatah/Staff

You’re at a loss for words. All you can do is stare and let the virtual food particles fall out of your gaping mouth.

Sample captions:

“Seeing someone in a Stanford shirt.”

“‘This class will not be curved.'”

“When no one is in the Student Union.”

“Just passed Missy Franklin at the RSF.”

“Looking for the end of the line like … “

Contact Jasmine Tatah at [email protected].