50 thoughts to have while people watching on Sproul

Anna Sapozhnikov/Staff

It’s the middle of a regular weekday, the sun is shining, and you have about an hour before your next class. Since you’re too tired of paying attention to your own life, it might be fun to pay attention to other people’s.  There’s only one possible solution — people watching. And what better place to people watch than the bustling Sproul Plaza? We at the Clog did just that, and while doing so we had some thoughts — 50 thoughts, to be exact. 

  1. Today is a beautiful day.
  2. Did a motorcycle really just drive through Sproul?
  3. Nice suits. We wonder how their interviews went.
  4. Unless they didn’t have an interview and are just looking dapper because they can. Respect.
  5. Okay, it has literally only been 10 minutes and it is no longer a beautiful day. We’re freezing.
  6. We should’ve brought a jacket.
  7. Maybe we can borrow one from the folks wearing suits. 
  8. What exactly are we trying to accomplish with the fake water in the fountain?
  9. Sometimes we think UC Berkeley isn’t as weird as people assume it is.
  10. But then we remember — it’s even weirder.
  11. For example, the girl holding up a cardboard sign that says “almost free hugs” proves our point.
  12. Why almost? What’s the catch?
  13. To the person without the shoes, we really hope you don’t step on anything.
  14. Especially sharp things.
  15. Or dog poop.
  16. Also I’m pretty sure this kid is trying to feed a bowl of soup to this squirrel.
  17. I don’t think that’s okay.
  18. I should probably stop him.
  19. Pigeons are just rats with wings.
  20. Shoutout to the dude piggybacking his friend who has a broken leg.
  21. Shoutout to the girl walking by their side, holding their backpacks.
  22. That’s real friendship.
  23. To the person who just dropped half a bowl of Chipotle — we are so sorry.
  24. To the person sprinting to catch the 51B, you’ll make it. You can do it.
  25. Or not, better luck next time.
  26. Hopefully Bear Transit is coming soon — their seats are way comfier anyway.
  27. Uh … who left a tuba unattended? Cal Band?
  28. I wonder how long that person’s been asleep in the grass.
  29. It is suddenly 90 degrees again. Great. 
  30. Why?
  31. Y’all, it’s way too hot to be wearing those coats.
  32. And to the person walking 10 feet behind them, it’s not hot enough to be that level of naked right now.
  33. Looking at you all is so confusing.
  34. You are in the same weather, how are you dressed for different seasons?
  35. Not judging — just concerned about your health.
  36. But you know, you do you.
  37. To the person who just zoomed past us on a segway, we were partly hoping you’d fall off just so we’d have something funny to see.
  38. Hmm, we wonder what Golden Bear Cafe is serving today.
  39. It doesn’t really matter, actually, because it’s not chicken strips.
  40. Oh, Golden Bear Cafe’s chicken strips, we miss you. We’re still not over this tragic loss.
  41. We heard they serve them in the new Student Union, but it’s just not the same.
  42. We wish we had meal points.
  43. Where can we find friendly freshmen who will kindly donate their meal points to the official Broke College Student Fund?
  44. To the person who dropped a phone on their face while laying in the grass — we saw you.
  45. At least it wasn’t an iPad.
  46. To the person pulling two large suitcases behind them, we can’t tell if you’re running away or if you’re just carrying all the material for your honors thesis.
  47. We should probably start heading to class now.
  48. But Northside is so far, ugh.
  49. We should start walking now though. We need to take into account the extra time it’s going to take us to say no to all the people trying to flyer us.
  50. Is “people watching” just a nicer way to say “judging people?”


Contact Rayanne Piaña at [email protected].