According to Wikipedia, the likelihood of a Friday the 13th is one in every 212.35 days, which sounds roughly the same as the likelihood of UC Berkeley students having a good night’s rest within a school year. Friday the 13th has a notorious reputation for the uncanny. Many people, superstitious or not, go above and beyond to avoid stepping on cracks, walking through ladders or crossing a black cat. We at the Clog, however, believe that it’s important to think the pastures are greener on the other side. Therefore, we compiled a list of worst-case scenarios to cheer you up for the few weeks left of this fall semester, so you can feel better about that last C+ you got on your paper.
Disclaimer: Some scenarios are hypothetical.
Falling in love with bae without knowing he/she is someone else’s bae:
“The one that I needed was Courtney from Hooters on Peachtree. I’ve always been feeling like she was the piece to complete me, now she engaged to be married.”— Drake on “From Time”
Being too rich and having to buy a BFF:
“Super rich kids with nothing but loose ends, super rich kids with nothing but fake friends.” — Frank Ocean on “Super Rich Kids”
Realizing you’re not the father of your 18-year-old child:
“18 years, 18 years and on the 18th birthday, found out it wasn’t his.” — Kanye West on “Gold Digger”
Going on a Tinder date and finding out that your date lied about his/her age:
“A six year difference is a 10 year sentence.” — Tyler the Creator on “Fucking Young/Perfect”
Being such a terrible human being that Kendrick Lamar condemns you as soulless on his platinum selling album Good Kid, M.A.A.D City:
“Look inside of my soul and you can find gold and maybe get rich, look inside of your soul and you can find out it never exist.”— Kendrick Lamar on “Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe”
Contact Lauren Ahn at [email protected].