If Gordo from “Lizzie McGuire” went to UC Berkeley

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Jessica Gleason /File

“Lizzie McGuire” was part of Disney Channel’s golden era in the early 2000s. Not only did it launch Hilary Duff’s music career, it was also a huge part of our childhood. Lizzie and her friends taught us everything we needed to know about surviving middle school (and beyond!). Adam Lamberg, the actor who played Lizzie’s lovable best friend Gordo, is a UC Berkeley alumnus himself. Lamberg was part of the class of 2006 and got his degree in geography, but we at the Clog always wondered what would life be like if Gordo went to UC Berkeley. Here’s what we believe happened to Gordo after he left Hillridge Junior High.

He’d major in film studies.

Gordo’s passion to be a director wouldn’t have died down one bit. As a film major, Gordo would be hard at work learning the theory behind his favorite films. In hopes of one day qualifying for a slot at Sundance Film Festival, he’d even film his own short movies on the side. On weekdays, you’d most likely catch him in the Knight Digital Media Center in Moffitt Library where he’d be watching an obscure film or two for his classes.

He’d start a Cal Hacky Sack Club. 

Although Gordo wouldn’t be an athlete by any means, he’d definitely pioneer a hacky sack club for the sole purpose of having fun with his friends. Gordo would turn his pastime of playing hacky sack into a legitimate club sport. Even if it seems hard to believe now, people would be scrambling to get a spot in Gordo’s weekly practice meetings on Memorial Glade. After a bit of time, Gordo would even qualify the club for the Bay Area Footbag League.

He’d spend time at Berkeley Hillel.

When he’s not up late editing his films and downing nitro cold brews from Equator at the Martin Luther King Jr. ASUC Student Union, Gordo would be hanging out at Berkeley Hillel on the weekends. Even though Gordo’s away from home, he’d want to stay in touch with his Jewish roots. Whether he’s braiding challah or participating in Hanukkah activities, Gordo would make his bubbe proud.

He’d be the ultimate hipster. 

Gordo was always the one to stick out from the crowd in middle school, and college is no exception. He’d wear rockabilly bowling shirts and still blast Frank Sinatra on the way to class. He’d shop at Mars on Telegraph Avenue for a dad hat with an ironic saying on it. During his summer Game of Thrones class, he’d argue for the series’ parallelisms with his favorite board game, Dwarf Lord. Instead of eating at Crossroads for lunch, he’d make the trek to Pat Brown’s every day. Basically, he’d do everything before it became mainstream.

He’d have a long-distance relationship with Lizzie. 

After years of being a faithful best friend, Gordo ended up with the girl of his dreams — Lizzie! Lizzie eventually saw the light after getting over Ronnie the Paper Boy, pining after Ethan Craft and getting played by Paolo. While Lizzie’s attending Berklee College of Music (because since her stint pretending to be Italian pop star Isabella, Lizzie decided to pursue a career in music with Miranda), Gordo would make sure to Facetime her as much as possible. He’d plan surprise visits to see both Miranda and Lizzie in Boston during break as well. If a boy like Gordo went to UC Berkeley, it’d be what dreams are made of.