Stages of winter break withdrawals

Kayla Baskevitch/Staff
Kayla Baskevitch/File
Kayla Baskevitch/Staff

The happy times are coming to an end as winter break is almost over, and it’s time to face reality again. Whether we like it or not, school is approaching. Though the spring semester won’t be completely awful, only break can offer us the chill-laxation we need. After weeks away from homework, exams and papers, the stressful aspects of school have been far from our minds. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. We at the Clog understand your grief, so we have outlined the five stages of winter break withdrawals we’ll all be going through this January, all so you know that you’re not alone on this.

  1. Denial
    First, you’ll flat-out deny that school is starting. You’ll ignore its reminder marked on Jan. 19th of the calendar. When you see your plane ticket back to Berkeley, you’ll ask yourself, “What’s that doing here?” and start laughing maniacally as you kick it under your bed. When you arrive at SFO, you’ll still be wearing your Mickey Mouse ears you wore at Disneyland during your family vacation. Even after printing out your schedule on Bear Facts, you still won’t know what classes you’ll be taking this semester. On Monday, you’ll neglect to remind yourself that you have an 8 a.m. you have to wake up for and will be watching Netflix until all hours of the night. To be fair, even if you weren’t on Netflix, you’d still be incapable of going to sleep any sooner, because your sleeping schedule is #REKT.
  2. Anger
    After days of little to no sleep, you’ll be furious with yourself and with everyone within a 15-mile radius of you. You’ll hate the rain, hate the cold and hate the world in general. You’ll sit in your three-hour lecture, sulking because the dreary walls of Evans 10 make you feel like you’re in a prison. Once you buy the outrageously expensive books from the Student Store and see your receipt, you’ll be livid. You’ll want to run out of the ASUC Student Union, taking out your rage on all those in your vicinity.
  3. Bargaining
    You’ll be asking a higher power (i.e. the Tele-bears gods) to switch your discussion to another more desirable time and location to avoid the hike up to Donner Lab. You’ll want to do anything to go back to the life of a sloth you used to lead. Anything. Even sacrificing some of your meal points for a few more days of break would seem like a bargain. At this point, you’d put your dignity up on Free and For Sale for two more weeks of winter break.
  4. Depression
    After the syllabus is out of the picture, you’ll be moping around campus because it’s only then that it’ll hit you that break is finally over. You’ll get your first essays assigned and, somehow, you’ll already be three months behind on readings. All of a sudden, you’ll start crying so hard that Strawberry Creek is flooding with your salty tears. Then, everyone will cry with you until it all turns into an enormous sobbing fest called El Niño. Before you know it, you’ll find yourself waiting in the monster line at Walgreens and see Valentine’s decorations, and have a conniption all over again because you’re forever alone.
  5. Acceptance
    Finally, after 28 consecutive cups of coffee, you’ll come to terms that classes aren’t that bad. You’ll still get to nap like you did before (albeit, during class) and get back in the swing of your routine. You’ll get to learn a hell of a lot and still get to hang out with your friends on the weekends. You’ll have officially said goodbye to the blissful memories of winter break and will be ready to make new ones here at Berkeley. You shall accept your fate. At the last, you’ll greet school like an old friend.

Contact Abigail Balingit at [email protected].