Procrastination playlist

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We’ve all been at that point in life when we don’t know if we’re going insane or if our roommate slipped some foreign drug into our water. This is the point of procrastination when we look at the clock and it seems like the whole world has stopped because that much time doing nothing can’t have actually passed by so quickly. And then, all at once, the enormity of the situation hits us, and it seems like our whole future life flashes by. The flashback goes a little something like this: dropping out, joining a circus, sobbing, bad break-ups and then getting deported somehow. Whenever this flashback occurs, it’s a good idea to listen to this “Playlist for Procrastination” as it may be the only source of solace in these desperate moments.

  1. “Sorry” by Justin Bieber

Yes, at this point it’s probably much too late to say sorry. So many hours have gone by doing absolutely nothing that you don’t even know who you are anymore. But the new Justin Bieber can cure all — even in these moments when failing out of a certain class seems not that unlikely.

  1. “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie

Even though you may want to throw a fit in the middle of Doe Library, don’t. Chances are everyone around you has been procrastinating by watching “Dog gets fur died purple” videos on YouTube, too. Just listen to the song and try to find peace with the fact that you’ll be up until the wee hours of the morning.

  1. “Up All Night” by One Direction

As stated above, there’s no chance that you won’t be up until the sunrise. Even though One Direction (before they broke up — RIP) was singing about staying up all night to party, this song fits this scenario, too. Just exchange the alcohol for shots of espresso and the hangover for eyelids that won’t stay open in class the next day.

  1. “The Final Countdown” by Europe

The good times must always come to an end. As you move that cursor slowly toward the tiny “x” at the top of the YouTube page, play this song and accept that your fate includes dying slowly within the library or within a book. This is the end. Also, count down mentally until the moment you open up bCourses and look at the amount of work you have yet to do.

  1. “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor

   In the wise words of Chandler Bing from “Friends,” “I realize I can sleep with my eyes open.” Let this be inspiration to all of you procrastinating people. We’re with you. Although not everything is possible, caffeine can do wonders for your soul. You will survive.

Contact Emilia Malachowski at [email protected].