Midterms are here, the deadline for your first big paper is quickly approaching and the responsibilities you thought you had a handle on are slowly but surely slipping through your fingers. You must ask yourself: Have you lost your mind yet? We at the Clog prepared a quiz so that you can find out if your marbles are definitely gone, if only a couple screws are loose or if you’ve cracked for good.
- How many hours do you spend on homework a day?
- Probably around four or five — more if I have an upcoming paper.
- Like 10 hours per day.
- A better question is how many hours do I spend NOT doing homework? (The answer is none.)
- How many units are you taking?
- 19 or more.
- How many hours do you sleep a night on average?
- Seven to 10, depending on my workload.
- Five or six, if I’m lucky.
- I haven’t slept in 17 years.
- How many caffeinated beverages have you had today?
- I don’t really drink caffeine that much?
- Two or three — I try not to go crazy with caffeine.
- Seven and counting.
- Have you had your first midterm or big paper yet?
- It’s coming up pretty soon now.
- Yeah, just finished it.
- Yes, and my second, and my third. My fourth is tomorrow.
- Have you started laughing uncontrollably any time in the past couple days?
- No, do people actually do that?
- Yeah, but my friend said something funny.
- Yep. Uncontrollably and meaninglessly.
- Have you started crying at any point today?
- Seriously? No.
- I mean, no, but wait until three hours before my midterm.
- I’m crying right now.
Mostly ones: Congratulations, you have not lost it yet. You may even have a few more weeks of sanity before everything crumbles — enjoy it while you can.
Mostly twos: You are slowly but surely losing it. You have a day or so of semi-sanity. Hold on to it, because once it slips away, you won’t get it back until the end of the term.
Mostly threes: You have completely lost it. Are you sure you ever had it? Please close this page, take a deep breath, drink some water and sleep for 10 hours. Your work will be better for it and you might even regain some sanity.
Contact Taylor Follett at [email protected].