50 phrases we say during midterm season

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Taylor Follett/Staff

Desperation. Exhaustion. Caffeine-induced studying frenzy. These are sensations we all experience during midterm season. The midterm experience at UC Berkeley is impossible to explain to our parents and younger siblings, but the struggle is so real. Perhaps the best way to explain this insanity is by compiling a list of phrases we at the Clog have overheard, done or said during midterm season. While many of these statements are reworded for simplicity or translated from desperate Google searches and texts to friends, there’s no doubt about the abundance of thoughts and emotions we’re thinking and experiencing during the least wonderful time of the year.

  1. How late is Main Stacks open again?
  2. I’m going to be crying in Cafe Milano until class if you want to join.
  3. Is it safe to drink four cups of coffee in two hours?
  4. The larger the under-eye circles, the higher the test grade.
  5. I wrote a three-page paper in an hour today.
  6. I think I may have forgotten what my room looks like.
  7. I haven’t slept in at least 48 hours.
  8. I’m fine, I swear.
  9. I don’t have time for a Tinder date, I barely have time to shower.
  10. I’m going to take a break from studying for my midterm to do my prelab, I think.
  11. Strada is open until midnight, right?
  12. I’m so tired.
  13. I’ve been in the library so long I forgot what real light looks like.
  14. I slept in; please kill me.
  15. I want to sleep under this table.
  16. I’m skipping class to study for my midterm.
  17. Do you want to come suffer with me?
  18. [unintelligible screaming]
  19. Why did the new season of House of Cards come out this week? Why not next week?
  20. Maybe I should cancel my Netflix subscription until school is over.
  21. Late Night is the only reason I’m actually getting some form of sustenance.
  22. I’m going to take a nap at midnight and then get up again at one to finish this paper, O.K.?
  23. O.K., I have time for a two-minute break if I read this chapter really fast.
  24. I’ll take out the trash when I finish studying, I swear.
  25. I want to go home.
  26. I’ve worn sweatpants for at least the past week.
  27. I really don’t have time to do laundry, but I’m down to my last shirt.
  28. Why isn’t Main Stacks 24/7 all the time?
  29. Why are most of the on-campus coffee shops closed on weekends?
  30. Why are all of my midterms on the same day?
  31. I just have to get through the next few days and then I can sleep.
  32. Yes, Mom, I’m getting enough sleep (note: said with fingers crossed).
  33. [maniacal giggling]
  34. I try to change up my study habits. Sometimes I go to the first floor of Main Stacks, sometimes I go to the second. It’s really exciting.
  35. O.K., if I study for one more hour, I can take half an hour to eat and then I might be able to get five hours of sleep tonight.
  36. I cried in the library three times this week.
  37. Somehow, no matter how hard I try, I always end up back here (note: said at the Peets in GBC).
  38. I need to stop spending money on junk food (note: also said at GBC).
  39. Only two more months until summer break!
  40. Only two more weeks until spring break!
  41. I’m probably just going to sleep through spring break, to be entirely honest.
  42. Wait, when’s the Pass/No Pass deadline again?
  43. How many obligations can I skip and not look like a bad person?
  44. I’ve been sick for at least three weeks now.
  45. T-2 hours to my midterm.
  46. Send help to North Reading Room immediately.
  47. It’s around this time of year that I begin to seriously consider becoming religious.
  48. I’m really surviving on a day-by-day basis at this point.
  49. Can you see exhaustion?
  50. My midterms are almost over, thank God. Now I just have to deal with finals.

Contact Taylor Follett at [email protected].