Contact Sasha Ashall at [email protected].a
There seems to be a myth surrounding spring break that most people travel to some exotic location with their friends and drink sugary virgin margaritas in a resort until they puke their guts out. You’re supposed to get irresponsible tattoos of your friend’s frat letters on your butt cheek and go to huge beach dance parties and make out with strangers, all in a sugar-induced rampage, from all the virgin margaritas, of course. That’s the myth; experience offers a very different reality. A few people do that, and they have a great time, but it’s more likely that you’re going home or on a short vacation with your family. You might feel left out because a group of your friends are engaging in madness in the tropics, but fear not; going on vacation with your parents can be just as fun and probably more luxurious.
Parents pay. Instead of spending $600 or more of your own money going to Cabo (How can people actually afford that? If you know the answer, please email us!), enjoy a vacation free of the stress that hemorrhaging cash brings. You can dine in fancy restaurants without worrying about how much the oysters you’re slurping up cost. You can stay in a quaint hotel on Venice Beach instead of a scary, bedbug-ridden motel or hostel. You can even get to lay on a beach that’s not littered with red cups and patches of sick.
Give your body a break and cleanse it of all the sugary substances and toxins consumed in the days before spring break. You might even find your skin has a healthy glow and your liver feels more lively than ever before. Drink lemonade and water by the gallon. Eat brownies that are only special because your mom made them for you and they have little nuggety chocolate chunks in them and lots of love. Maybe even drink a green juice? No, that takes it too far. Just stick with water.
But most of all, you get to hang out with your family, who you don’t get to see very much. You get to watch your mom, decked out in a fanny pack and bright turquoise socks, struggle to take a picture of a flower with her phone that she still doesn’t fully understand how to use. She’ll ask you repeatedly if you want to be in her picture and, as always, will take your silence as tacit agreement. You get to hear your dad crack some of his famous knee-slappers and you might wonder how you turned out to have such a good sense of humor.
So, forget Cabo and enjoy the time spent hanging with the fam. Because free, nice stuff is way better than expensive, mildly shitty stuff. That’s just common sense.