Some people live for Halloween. As October moves forward, more and more people will be watching scary movies, carving pumpkins and, most importantly, putting together a costume they’ve waited all year to reveal. But some of us are not as swept up by the Halloween spirits. With Halloween just around the corner, many are still left without costumes and without the will to put effort into making one. Others simply don’t like the idea of wearing a costume but need one in order to get into a costume party. Fortunately, we at the Clog have created a list of minimal effort costumes for the spiritless trick-or-treater. If that’s too much for you, we created some very simple step-by-step instructions, so you don’t have to put the effort into reading.
A campus toilet
Required materials: access to a campus restroom
Step 1: Locate a campus restroom.
Step 2: Enter a stall and find the toilet seat cover dispenser.
Step 3: Take a seat cover and place it over your head.
Now you’re a campus toilet. Make sure to identify yourself as the toilet you took the seat cover from (e.g. the toilet on the far right on the first floor of Dwinelle Hall). Keep your fingers crossed that no one comes dressed as the same toilet.
The cursor when your professor forgets to move it off the screen
Required materials: paper, scissors and glue
Step 1: Take out a piece of paper and scissors.
Step 2: Cut out a cursor.
Step 3: Glue the cursor onto a T-shirt.
Now you’re the cursor when your professor forgets to move it off the screen. The good thing about this costume is everyone will notice you. The bad thing is everyone will be slightly annoyed by your presence.
The ice cream machine at Crossroads
Required materials: paper, a pen and tape
Step 1: Take out a piece of paper and a pen.
Step 2: Write “OUT OF SERVICE” on the piece of paper.
Step 3: Tape the sign to your body and stand in the corner.
Now you’re the ice cream machine at Crossroads. If you really want to invest in this costume, there will never be any normal-sized bowls near you.
The person walking through a cramped aisle
Required materials: a backpack
Step 1: Put on your backpack.
Step 2: Find someone who is comfortably sitting down and shove your butt about six inches in front of that person’s face.
Step 3: Excuse yourself.
Now you’re the person walking through a cramped aisle. This costume is ideal for people without very much Halloween spirit who still want to show others that they have a nice butt.
The elevators at Evans Hall
Required materials: invitation to a costume party
Step 1: Get invited to a costume party.
Step 2: Say you’ll be there.
Step 3: Never arrive.
Now you’re the elevators at Evans Hall. If you’d rather not attend a costume party, this is the costume for you. Being too committed to a costume is the perfect excuse for not showing up.
These easy, three-step ideas are barely enough to be considered costumes — but barely enough is still enough. You won’t win any costume contests, but aren’t the real winners the ones who didn’t care that much to begin with?
Contact Ryan Melvin at [email protected].