Spring DeCals we need now

It’s that time of year again when distressed UC Berkeley students can all be found simultaneously screaming at their computer screens. This can only mean one thing: class registration. Along with navigating the labyrinth of CalCentral (Why are there registration phases?), people also have to tackle the task of finding courses before they fill up. While this is a tedious process, it’s also important to choose captivating classes.

Signing up for DeCals is a way to add a highlight to an otherwise hellish week. Run by students, these courses encompass a wide array of interests, from Harry Potter to Greek Folk Dancing. While there’s a variety to choose from, we at the Clog have come up with our own prospective classes that would leave us pining for more.

How to adult

After being in school for most of our lives, we now have less than four years to figure out how to navigate the real world. This is a terrifying thought that lingers in the back of all of our minds. Wouldn’t it be nice if there were a way you could prepare for post-graduation life?

This DeCal would cover all your woes and worries. It would start off with the basics: how to do laundry, how to craft a resume and so on. Progressively, other skills would be introduced that would include (but wouldn’t be limited to) doing your taxes, finding an affordable place to rent and asking for a promotion. No longer will Google be your sensei for the future. Rather, you will refer to your DeCal’s color-coded notebook for guidance, all while sipping on only the finest of grown-up beverages.

Procrastination nation

We all do it anyways, so it only makes sense for it to be a class. During this time, you can catch up with your latest Netflix addiction, stalk your ex on social media or perhaps take a nap. The curriculum would even teach you just how far you can put off work before it’s too late. Have a paper due tomorrow? There’s always morning! Plus, at the end of the semester, the only final you’ll have is that final episode of “Breaking Bad” you’ve only just now gotten around to. So the next time that your roommate scowls at you for watching five hours of “Scandal” in a row, you can rebut with, “It’s for my class!”

Canines at Cal

You know there’s a dog on campus by the swarm of students crawling over each other to lay a single finger on the pup’s luscious fur. You would think that they were reaching for a rare artifact rumored to provide immortality. Seeing such a sight only exhibits how pet-deprived UC Berkeley students are. Canines at Cal would be the ultimate solution. Once a week, students would be able to journey to a local shelter and assist with any kennel maintenance, all while getting to play with adorable, adoptable dogs (or cats!). Not only would this promote adopting furry friends, but it would combat everything from homesickness to stress.

San Francisco secrets

While in class, many daydream about running out of the room with papers flying, hopping on the BART and heading straight into the city for a whirlwind day of explorations. But instead, we sit subserviently for an hour listening to our professor elaborate on the progression of farming. With the DeCal San Francisco secrets, you would actually be able to ditch classes for a day and explore the underbelly of the city. Instead of hitting tourist spots, you would discover the story behind the golden fire hydrant and dine for dinner at Belden Place, the “French Quarter” of San Francisco. By the time the class is over, your friends will be referring to you as the top tour guide of the town.

While these are all fictional courses, you’re actually able to start your very own DeCal! So whether it’s petting puppies or binging “Bob’s Burgers,” make sure to include these fun classes in your spring semester.

Contact Kirsty Fowler at [email protected].