By now, everyone knows that all the Pokemon games are fundamentally the same. You have a dorky rival with some impressively cheesy lines. Some crazy team of losers want to take over the world. Your mom gives you running shoes, and you somehow get a free bicycle. You beat eight gyms and the Elite Four and happen to catch the most powerful Pokemon in the region in the process, while single-handedly destroying the aforementioned team of losers. What keeps players coming back game after game, generation after generation? It’s for the new Pokemon, of course!
There’s arguably more hype for the announcement of a silly fake animal with superpowers than for the discovery of a new species in real life — or at least, more stupid clickbait-y articles talking about the most exciting new Pokemon in each game. So let’s talk about the five most exciting new Pokemon in “Sun” and “Moon,” the newest entry in the Pokemon franchise:
- Type: Null
Type: Null might be the weirdest looking Pokemon to ever be announced. Game Freak went full “FullMetal Alchemist” on this one, making a mysteriously chimeric Pokemon out of a fish fin, a canine’s body, insect claws and whatever the heck its head is. It evolves into Silvally when it grows to love its trainer so much that it removes its protective headgear, which is cool enough on its own, and the Pokedex description that Type: Null was “needed to complete a certain mission” only adds to the mystery. Coupled with the Internet’s observation that Type: Null’s neck looks just like Arceus’s rings, it’s safe to say that Type: Null’s backstory is one of the most intriguing ever to come out of the series.
Bewear is a cute, stuffed-looking bear who is dangerous — because it literally hugs its trainer too hard. That alone merits inclusion on this list. It looks like a Build-a-Bear gone rogue, but its base stats are surprisingly high (with a 125 attack) and with its ability Fluffy, which halves damage taking from direct contact attacks, Bewear becomes a must-use. If you can harness its power without getting crushed in its embrace (there are worse ways to die), Bewear could be a powerful ally.
Every game, Game Freak comes out with at least one Pokemon that makes you think the designers must have said “fuck it,” looked at a random object around their office and transformed that into a Pokemon. So it’s not hard to imagine that on their trip to Hawaii to “scout” the Alola region, exhausted designers saw some family building a sand castle and convinced themselves it wasn’t a horrible idea. Thus, we have Palossand to remember next to vaunted ice cream cone Pokemon Vanilluxe. But Palossand has a pretty creepy backstory to accompany it:
“Palossand loves the vitality of Pokémon and drags small Pokémon into its body so it can steal their life force. Its sandy vortex swallows them up in a heartbeat! Pokémon dragged into Palossand leave traces of their ill will behind.”
A murderous sand castle? Sounds perfect for a kids game.
Mimikyu might be the saddest Pokemon ever. Alolans believe that seeing its true form will induce a mysterious illness, so they avoid seeing it. , Aand if they do choose to look, they have to peekunderneath always its Pikachu-looking cloth? Why the Pikachu-looking cloth? Because Mimikyu is so lonely that it thought it would only be able to make friends with humans if it dressed itself up like Pikachu because of the huge popularity of Pikachu merchandise. Make it your mission to rescue as many Mimikyus as you can by catching them and forcing them to battle to exhaustion for your honor. I’m sure that would cure their crippling loneliness.
There were a lot of contenders for this final spot, with Lei-shaped Comfey and groovy Alolan Dugtrio (Dugtrio with a wig) coming hard for it, but ultimately, Yungoos takes the cake. This mongoose has no creepy or sad backstory, and it will probably be the most hated pokemon for taking the annual Zigzaggoon and Bidoof position of “pesky rodent I encounter way too often,” but Yungoos and its evolved form Gumshoos look too much like our new president-elect to be a coincidence — no matter what Game Freak says. We’ve witnessed Pokemon’s first meme-based creature, and Yungoos has to take the spot for this historic event.
There are definitely way more crazy Pokemon out there, and the new legendaries are as impressive looking as greats like Rayquaza and Arceus. To credit Game Freak, the game has made a lot of updates both in gameplay and story, and it’s been really fun to play. Check it out for a blast of nostalgia, or creepiness, or sadness or meme-ness!
Contact Kevin Lu at [email protected].