You know him. You love him. You’ve probably made jokes about how creepy he looks but definitely own at least one item with his face on it. Yes, we’re talking about our beloved mascot, Oski. Oski’s been around for a while — since 1941. Prior to the mascot’s debut, live bears were often brought into Memorial Stadium, but now, it’s the Oski Committee that cares for and selects who is to be Oski. His identity is unknown to everyone, except the committee. While we at the Clog are unfortunately not members of this sacred and secret group, we’ve always wondered who Oski really is, so we decided to suggest some possibilities.
You probably saw this one coming based on the Clog’s obsession with Dirks, but we’re still suspicious of him, especially because his misuse of public funds. For such an aloof man, we at the Clog would totally understand if Dirks was trying to woo the students of the university back by hiding his face inside the Oski suit, just to feel that love again. And hey, we don’t know who’s on the Oski Committee either. It could be Dirks’ cronies who ended up stepping down from their positions, too. It could just be Dirks. Plus, Dirks probably relates to Oski on a deeper level. They both have creepy faces, and they’re both 75, right?
A live bear
No suggestions are too far-fetched when it comes to Oski. While the university supposedly stopped bringing live bears into Memorial Stadium as mascots toward the end of the 1930s, it’s quite possible that Oski is really a live bear — or at least, they may be the ones controlling Oski’s movements. It may explain why Oski seems to sometimes run around aimlessly and in circles at the end zone during football games and at rallies. Live bears inside the Oski suit may also explain Oski’s sometimes aggressive behavior. Stealing cheerleaders’ pompoms to get crowds to chant his name? It could only be the act of a live bear.
The Daily Californian
That’s right. Maybe we’re Oski. We were the ones who control and perpetuate the image of Oski, after all. It would only make sense for the creators themselves to be inside the mascot suit, controlling Oski’s every moves. Now you’re probably confused as to why we at the Daily Cal are writing this article if we could potentially be Oski ourselves? Well, maybe we want to confuse you into thinking that we couldn’t possibly be Oski if we’re speculating that there are others who could be Oski. Confused yet? Good.
OK, you’re probably really confused now that we’ve suggested that the Daily Cal could be Oski, and we apologize. But what if Oski is Oski? We think this is the most plausible suggestion yet. Just think about it. Oski is Oski. There’s no other way to explain it. We wouldn’t be surprised if Oski wasn’t even wearing a suit, because the suit is Oski. Maybe there is no Oski Committee, because how could they choose who’s supposed to be Oski if Oski already is Oski? To summarize, there’s no one in the suit because it’s not a suit. It’s just Oski.
Speculate on, Bears.
Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].