Quiz: Where should you cry during dead week?

Michael Drummond/Staff
Michael Drummond/File
Michael Drummond/Staff

Dead week is a busy time. You don’t have the energy to consider anything superfluous like showering, sleeping or deciding where you should cry. While we at the Clog can’t help you with the first two, we can aid you in finding the perfect place for your pre-finals meltdown.

  1. How many assignments do you have due this week?
    1. None! I actually have time to relax for once.
    2. At this point, I’m buried so deep under my work that I couldn’t even tell you how much I have to do.
    3. I just turned in my last paper of the semester today!
    4. Way, way too many.
  2. What are you going to wear today?
    1. To quote Regina George, “These sweatpants are all that fit me right now.”
    2. My favorite stylish outfit. Just because I’ve given up on school doesn’t mean I have to give up on looking good.
    3. The same thing as yesterday, which is the same thing as the day before that, which is the same thing as two days before that.
    4. Nothing at all. This year, I’m participating in the naked run.
  3. How are you procrastinating?
    1. By reading the Clog and taking quizzes, duh.
    2. I’m two hours deep into UC Berkeley Memes for Edgy Teens, and then I plan to devote myself to Overheard at UC Berkeley for a few more hours.
    3. I consider the walk to the library to be enough procrastination. Every moment of dead week counts.
    4. Is it still procrastination if you build it in to your study schedule? If so, then I’m procrastinating for the next 43 minutes by zoning out to an episode of “The Crown.”
  4. Do you know when all your finals are?
    1. Yes, and I’m not happy that more than one is at 8 a.m.
    2. Aren’t they at the same time as the lecture?
    3. No. If I don’t check, they’re not real.
    4. Yes. I’ve had my color-coded finals schedule drawn up since September.
  5. What time did you go to bed last night?
    1. If you sleep before midnight you’re a quitter.
    2. I haven’t even seen my bed in a week.
    3. 9:45 p.m. exactly! It’s important to be well-rested for finals.
    4. Instead of actually sleeping, I’m taking short naps every few hours — I heard it works better.
    1. Outside of Dirks’ fence. Let it all out on the lawn of University House (or, if you can’t sneak around the fence, on the sidewalk out front). Who knows? Maybe your tears will be an acceptable sacrifice and Dirks will return our public funds.
    2. In one of Moffitt’s glass study rooms. If you’re afraid that your sobs will disturb those studying around you, but you can’t risk someone stealing your spot if you leave, make sure to reserve a room in Moffitt Library so you can plan out your crying session most efficiently.
    3. On the steps of Sproul Hall. You certainly won’t be the strangest person (or the most annoying) out there. In fact, you may even find a rogue protest that can camouflage the sound of your sobs with their chants.
    4. At the top of the Campanile. Nothing makes a crisis better like a beautiful view. As you cry, you can look out at all of UC Berkeley — the very institution that caused this breakdown. Your crying will be muffled by the ringing bells, too.

Contact Jamie Campbell at [email protected].