That new cool kid lingo

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Dean Ignacio/File

From Snapchat stories to Memes for Edgy Teens, it seems as though it’s impossible to keep up with the latest trends of the interwebs. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in thinking that social media is a confusing and complicated world to navigate. To make matters worse, slang on Facechat and Instabook is at an all-time high. The slang that’s thrown around on these challenging platforms is more difficult to decode than our CS61B projects. Rest assured, we at the Clog are here to explain and debunk the latest teen lingo.

“My ride or die”

This expression is typically accompanied by a photo of seemingly giddy girls striking a staged “thug lyfe” pose as they stand completely ignorant to the extremity of their caption. What on earth kind of situation have you been in where the only options are riding or death? Perhaps you’re riding in an ambulance to receive life-saving medical treatment, or maybe you’re riding away as a definitely terminal bomb explodes behind you. It’s been a while since we’ve been to Disneyland, but it should probably be illegal to have any roller coaster alternatives be loss of life — that would be a scary amusement park. This seems like an unnecessarily binary situation.

“My girl/guy”

This phrase will often be used to describe a photo of a significant other in a playful manner, but comes with a whole litany of problems. For starters, there’s the obvious issue that nobody cares about your happiness and feelings about your boo. More importantly, there’s the fact that you’re probably offending your bae’s mother. If anyone can claim possession to another human being, it’s their mom. She brought their life into this world with her own blood, sweat and tears and is the sole reason for their current existence. So unless you grew your lover inside of yourself before birthing them into this world, a person can’t really be considered “yours.” Drop that “my girl/guy caption” and change it to a more appropriate “thank you to this person’s mother for blessing them with the gift of life.”

“Lit”

Honestly, who even knows what “lit” means anymore. This was probably a phrase that the speaker started saying ironically but now can’t stop compulsively shouting at inappropriate times. While it was certainly derived from something about partying, today it’s used to describe everything from packed lunches to exciting lectures. It’s like a fungus that you can’t get rid of. You’re fully aware that you look like an idiot when you shout the past participle of ‘light’ 49 times a day, but you just can’t kick the habit.

“RIP”

Evolution has changed this phrase from a respectful headstone goodbye to an everyday expression for anything even moderately disappointing. Originating from the acronym for “rest in peace,” “RIP” is now an appropriate response for a decent burn or a below-average test grade. It can also be used when you drop food on the ground or are faced with the slightest hardship in life, such as a paper cut or having to pull an all nighter. It’s important to remember that this phrase is being used much more lightly than in the past, so don’t worry if you see “RIP” sprinkled throughout your feed, someone probably just found a split end in their hair.

Hope the first week of school is lit f0r both you and your boo. RIP winter break.

Contact Amanda Chung at [email protected].