Hopefully not all of us have had an 8 a.m. class during our college careers, but if you have, you know the feeling: the struggle of getting up two (to five) hours earlier than your roommates, taking a shower half awake and walking up the literally never-ending Berkeley hills to your class. 8 a.m. is truly an ungodly hour, and if you can avoid dragging your ass to class at that time, do it. Even though we all spent seven years waking up for our 8 a.m. classes during middle and high school, we are incapable of doing that now.
Taking an 8 a.m. is taboo in the UC Berkeley community, so make sure you never, ever show these signs, if for some reason (we can’t think of any) you ever need to take one.
The “sweatpants are fashion” outfit
Yes, you may be a non-8 a.m. student (aka a normal, regular, fun-loving person) who finds comfort extremely appealing, but for the most part, the students that rock the “sweatpants are fashion” outfits woke up before the sun. These students, in an attempt to get up as late as possible, will most likely dress in sweatpants, sweatshirts or loose-fitting tees. They’ll look slightly unkempt, as if they just rolled out of bed (which they actually did).
Carrying four different caffeinated drinks with you
We get this one, because caffeine is really the only way any of us can stay awake at seven in the morning. Many 8 a.m. students, in order to wake themselves up and make themselves able to contribute to discussions or listen in lectures even slightly, will drink not just one caffeinated drink – they’ll have four. They’ll carry coffee, tea, Coke and some kind of energy drink that could literally kill you. Please have sympathy for these students though, because they really need your thoughts and prayers. There’s no way to survive otherwise.
Nodding off in a 2 p.m. lecture
Yes, 2 p.m. These people who constantly nod off in a mid-afternoon lecture, or fall asleep on their desk or shoulder, were definitely chirping before the birds. They’re feeling the pain of having to wake up so early and can’t do anything about it. So extend a hand and help them out. Let them sleep on your shoulder, or wake them up when there’s something important happening in lecture. And, maybe even ask them why they’re taking an 8 a.m. class to try to give them some sort of reality check and change their mind. Just help them in any way that you can.
Asking questions in discussion that make absolutely no sense
Ah, discussions: the only time when you actually have to show you’re paying attention in class. Sometimes people just ask annoying questions in discussion to get participation points, but this is quite a different story. By the time your 4 p.m. discussion rolls around, 8 a.m.-ers are basically done with the day. Their brains are pretty fried, they keep dozing off and they really just want to go to sleep. But, being UC Berkeley students, they still want to talk in discussion to get all the points they can. Unfortunately, they might just ask some random question that has absolutely no relevance. Next time you hear this just realize that they’re really just unable to function at the present moment.
We hope we somehow changed your perspective about 8 a.m.-ers, from possibly hating them for being overachievers to feeling immense sympathy for them. The question still remains: Why do people take 8 a.m classes?
Contact Esmé Brachmann at [email protected].