Things that will produce more change at UC Berkeley than the ASUC elections

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Alice Langford/File

While the ASUC is full of admirable people who grossly exaggerate their school spirit in an attempt to manipulate people into voting for them, we have to be real about the minimal amount of change and policy they’re actually allowed to put into place. But we at the Clog thought it’d be helpful to give you a list of things which will produce more change than the upcoming student government can.

If CREAM closed down

This would be absolutely tragic, its amazing desserts have a positive impact on all of our well-being. If it closed down, the student population would be profoundly negatively affected.

Any student’s “startup”

According to our sources, around 90 percent of startups end up closing their doors shortly after starting up. Not much of a game changer, but then again, neither are the ASUC elections.

Cal Day

Calso is a thing of the past, but Cal Day is apparently here to stay. The insane crowds that’ll sweep campus on Cal Day (April 22) will likely leave a more lasting impression than any ASUC victory.

The impending Ann Coulter talk

Conservative commentator Ann Coulter is coming here to Berkeley on April 27, a mere few months after the Milo Yiannopoulos incident. Considering the scale of the Yiannopoulos protest, we can only imagine the ruckus that will surround the Ann Coulter talk will dwarf the significance of the ASUC elections’ outcome.

The return of Wheeler Hall

The return of Wheeler for most people at UC Berkeley is an anticipated event. That hall has a nice inside and will help more students and professors steer clear of the likes of Dwinelle and Evans halls.

Incoming Chancellor Carol Christ

We don’t know about you, but we doubt the transition from Chancellor Dirks to Christ will produce noticeable differences in the everyday life of a UC Berkeley student. Yet, it’s still going to impact you more than the ASUC will.

We at the Clog know that regardless of who wins or loses, we should all be cognizant of the fact that nothing really changes. Campaigns seem to promise grand, immediately implementable things – overstepping the bounds of what can actually be accomplished. And so we are left wondering: Can ineffectual student startups, or even the return of Wheeler Hall make more of a difference?

Contact Melany Dillon at [email protected].