Power ranking: Best activities to do on Memorial Glade

Michaela Swensen/Staff
Michaela Swensen/File
Michaela Swensen/Staff

Whether you’re a future Golden Bear (congratulations!) or a current, burnt-out Bear (we feel your pain), Memorial Glade is UC Berkeley’s it-spot. There’s truly no better place to take a nap, enjoy a leisurely read or throw a frisbee around with friends. Plus, when at this grassy knoll, the view of dogs happily running around and hammocks hanging between the trees allows us to step back from the stress of college. So, we at the Clog have power ranked the best activities to partake in on Memorial Glade, based on three criteria: coolness, ability to remove shirt (free the nipple, baby) while partaking in the activity and how relaxing the activity is.

Taking a nap

Coolness: 4/5. Every passerby will envy you solely because you’ve miraculously found time to shut your eyes and take a break from your work. Congrats, we all wish we were you.

Ability to remove shirt: 2/5. Sure, you can take your shirt off and show off your killer abs so that we can all be jealous of you even more, but do you really want to risk waking up from your beauty sleep to a painful, stinging sunburn? That’s what we thought.

Relaxing: 5/5. Nothing’s more relaxing than getting some needed sleep out in the fresh air. Seriously, try it. We can’t think of anything else that tops this.

Total: 11/15

Playing fetch with your dog 

Coolness: 3/5. Just the fact that you own a dog is pretty cool in and of itself. And now the rest of us pet-less losers will have something to post on Dogspotting.

Ability to remove shirt: 4/5. Okay, we get it. You have a great bod, and you own a dog. But hey, if you got it, flaunt it. We can’t blame you if it’s hot outside. Or can we? ;)

Relaxing: 3/5. In most cases, it’s probably pretty calming to hang out with your pet. Maybe though, you have bad aim when tossing that tennis ball, or your dog simply doesn’t have those UC Berkeley smarts to realize that they have to bring the tennis ball back. Or maybe you just keep getting interrupted by stressed students desperate to pet your doggo. Based on what we know about the tendencies of UC Berkeley students, it’s probably the latter.

Total: 10/15

Frisbee

Coolness: 5/5. Okay, we’ll confess, watching a frisbee glide through the air as it’s effortlessly thrown back and forth is kind of intriguing. Plus, have any of us ever looked that relaxed partaking in other physical activities?

Ability to remove shirt: 5/5. If you can make throwing and catching a frisbee look like a piece of cake, then, by all means, take it off! It will definitely be a confidence booster and may even bring you a small crowd of observers. Not too shabby.

Relaxing: 4/5. As long as you’re pretty good at tossing and receiving a mini flying disk, then frisbee is a great, mindless activity to alleviate the stress of school out in the sunshine (hopefully!).

Total: 14/15

Spikeball

Coolness: 2/5. Unless you’re familiar with the sport, in which a ball is essentially bounced off a trampoline-like contraption, Spikeball is going to look weird, to say the least. You’ll wonder why a bunch of people are crowded around a small trampoline and throwing a ball off of it instead of jumping on it.

Ability to remove shirt: 2/5. Of course you can remove your shirt while playing Spikeball (or while doing practically almost anything), but if you’re playing with a bunch of other people and simply standing around a net, then we don’t really see the point.

Relaxing: 3/5. Spikeball can get really competitive, seeing how it’s labeled as a sport these days. It’s not necessarily a zen activity (you know, given that you’re trying to shamelessly defeat your opponents), but we can’t help but think that there’s something soothing about this activity.

Total: 7/15

Quidditch

Coolness: 3/5. Quidditch’s coolness factor can go either way depending on your level of knowledge of Harry Potter. If you’ve read the books, or have at least seen the movies, you know it’s cool. If you’ve never heard of Quidditch and are wondering why people are running around with broomsticks between their legs, it’s because they’re Muggles. Duh. Go get yourself a copy of “The Sorcerer’s Stone” and get educated.

Ability to remove shirt: 1/5. Based on the rules of Quidditch, shirt removal is not typical and probably not allowed. Sorry, bud.

Relaxing: 2/5. Whether you believe us or not, Quidditch is an extremely competitive sport. No, it’s not a Division I sport, but our Cal Quidditch Team still travels and plays against other schools. It even participates in a World Cup with other colleges around the country. So no, this isn’t relaxing. This is real.

Total: 6/15.

Whatever you do on the glade, make sure you’re having fun and taking a break from the stress that we all experience as students at UC Berkeley. Enjoy some fun in the sun!

Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].