The narrative of a typical UC Berkeley student’s dead week

deadweek
Franchesca Spektor/File

After all of the effort you’ve put into studying for your midterms, writing your essays and solving those problem sets, your journey is still incomplete. There’s one more hurdle to climb — finals.

Dead week’s pretty nice before the actual weekdays start. The weekend before dead week has the potential to be filled with relatively guilt-free partying and hangouts. And weekend parties rarely disappoint. It’s when Monday rolls around that things get worrisome.

You begin to work frantically as the reality of how f*cked you are sets in. You recognize a familiar feeling coming on, one that’s often talked about on campus and the meme page alike — crippling depression. You sink lower and lower into a pit of despair as you realize that you haven’t left Moffitt Library since Monday. It’s Wednesday now. Where has the time gone? Do you even remember anything you’ve studied? You shake your overwhelming sleep deprivation off long enough to go to Caffe Strada, where you consume a coffee with two shots of espresso.

Stumbling back to your dorm, apartment, co-op (or wherever the hell you reside) you collapse onto your bed, despite your recent caffeine intake, fall asleep and begin dreaming about finals. The world around you becomes a classroom in which you’re taking a final with just the professor and you. The professor comes up to you, snatching your final from your hands, proclaiming that “time is up.” You’ve only done half of the questions — and the other half you’re not even sure you got correct. Below 50 percent on a final spells death. Your fate is sealed. You think, “time to pack my bags and camp out in People’s Park.”

With a gasp, you wake up and realize it was just one of those stress dreams that everyone gets around finals time. You look at the clock and realize that time is of the essence, and you get up to continue studying.

Later that night, you have a stress-induced vent session with your roommate. The conversation centers around one question: Will all of this studying even pay off or will I bomb my finals like I bombed a couple of those midterms I studied so hard for? Neither of you guys offer any comforting advice, and so you go to bed around 2 a.m. wondering if it’ll all be worth it. Only time will tell, and in a week you’ll have your answer.

May the force be with you, bears!

Contact Melany Dillon at [email protected].