It’s time to get over that delightfully mysterious soul from your philosophy lecture that wouldn’t give you the time of day all darn semester long. Who has the time to wait for their yearlong crush to finally make a move over chat? Not you, that’s for sure. Summer 2017 is finally here, as well as your stronger and more mature self, and you owe it to yourself to take your love life into your own hands. We at the Clog are here to help advise your lovelorn selves and give you some tips on who will be the Danny to your Sandy and the America to your Australia this coming summer.
The gym run-in
We all promised ourselves on New Year’s that we’d hit the RSF this semester and lose the freshman 15 that oddly hasn’t disappeared over the last two years. Well, we know that that never happened, but this summer will surely be different. While you work on toning your arms in your local gym’s weight room, look for a confused or overconfident soul and confidently tell them they’re using the hand weights incorrectly. Don’t let their smelly sweat deter you — the closer the proximity, the higher chance of a summer romance. Get as close to them as possible and show them the real way to use the weights, and then recommend making this training session a daily thing.
The high school classmate
You haven’t seen each other in at least a year. Did your classmate get a stylin’ new haircut? Oh my, those new glasses really frame their face — or did they always have those glasses? Whatever it may be, you’re seeing this classmate in a whole new light. You guys never really talked, but we know of plenty of new friendships that blossom after high school. Plan a high school reunion, but only invite this one person and say no one else could make it. It’ll be a match made in heaven!
The froyo cashier
The cashier always lets you have an extra ounce of frozen yogurt for free, and the more you think about it, the more you realize it happens every Wednesday. The first time you locked eyes with the cashier was on a Wednesday, and you know they’re giving you that free yogurt as an homage to that fateful first day. You haven’t talked yet, but it’s just a matter of a couple more Wednesdays until you’re spending every living moment of the summer together.
The passenger sitting next to you on the plane
Love at first sight? More like love in flight. What better way to tell your future grandchildren how their grandparents met than on a 10-hour flight to Europe? Really get to know the person sitting next to you. We guarantee that it won’t take long to develop a new crush and forget that jerk from the school year. Even if the flight doesn’t end with the two of you exchanging phone numbers, at least you would’ve — hopefully — become close enough to use your new friend’s shoulder as a pillow on the long flight.
School’s finally — and thankfully — out for the next three months. Take your life into your own hands. Do you want to find the love of your life and relive “Grease?” Or do you want to get fit and be that badass bitch you’ve always wanted to be? Maybe you can do both. It’s your choice, Bears, and just know that whatever happens, this summer will be the best one yet.
Avanti Mehrotra is the assistant blog editor. Contact Avanti Mehrotra at [email protected].