Navigating paternal terminology

daddy
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Happy Father’s Day, dear readers. As college students you’ll definitely spend this day with a father figure, but his role as your actual father is up in the air. Many people use the following terms to refer to men they may or may not share 23 chromosomes with. These terms are all derived from “dad” yet all have distinct meanings unrelated to your actual father.

So, who’s your daddy?

The dad

The “dad” is considered the “nice guy.” He’s goofy and doesn’t take himself too seriously. He doesn’t talk smack about the ladies that he’s been involved with and likely has horrible puns for Instagram captions. He probably has a dad bod and a nice smile, but be careful, this man is likely already cuffed.

The daddy 

The “daddy” is the bad boy of the group. He’s likely to be tall and well built and can probably pick you up (the toss over the shoulder is optional). He’ll probably play you and leave you on read, but you won’t mind because he’s so spicy. He won’t text you before 11 p.m. He is smooth yet likely emotionally unavailable.

The DILF

“DILF” stands for “dad I’d like to f*ck.” The “DILF” is an actual father or at least the age where he could actually be a dad. That doesn’t mean he is out of the game. In fact, his age, maturity and experience all contribute to his saucy appeal. You’ve probably seen him in the form of your hot professor or your best friend’s dad.

Peace, love, Clog, dads.

Contact Olivia Lipari at [email protected].