“Oh. Oh no. What is he doing? Oh, good gracious.”
We’ve all been there. You go on that semi-pity date with the guy or gal who relentlessly messaged you back to back (to back), even after you left them on “read,” because free dinner is always a good deal, right?
And while you know this is a totally platonic, “we’re just friends,” date, they’re likely thinking something a little different:
OK, back to the date. Dinner was fine and you gave it a fair shot, but at the end of the night you’re just not that into him or her — no harm, no foul. You’re thinking you can still remain friends after this is over and now you’re just waiting for them to drop you off at home.
But he didn’t just simply leave you at the curb as you had hoped, he kindly offered to walk you to your door.
While this is a gentlemanly offer, you’re skeptical that his intentions are completely G-rated after you caught him not so subtly popping a stick of gum in his mouth as he got out of the car.
You reach your doorstep and go in for the “good night” hug, but it’s too late.
You see the look in his eyes. His confidence is boosted and he’s going to make a move on you.
You think at lightning speed, like Jimmy Neutron having a brain blast, “Shit! Shit! What do I do?”
“Fake a coughing attack.”
“Tell him you have a boyfriend.”
“Wait … GOT IT!”
OK, so your brain blast was not as successful as Neutron’s usually were, but to each their own. Truth or not, your excuse worked. But maybe it worked a little too well.
This friendship instantly went from platonic to painfully awkward, and now every time you see them it’s likely that they’re going to fret. If you see this person in a pack, be sure to expect that all of their friends think you have herpes.
Contact Christie Aguilar at [email protected].