14 things that kill more people than sharks

Ocean beach sunset
Rachel Feder/File

It’s a little less than a month away from July 23 and you know what that means. Shark Week is on the horizon!

In honor of this glorious week, the Clog has decided to bring you an early article to hype you up— but not on the stereotypical bloodthirsty, cold-blooded nature of sharks. No — instead of writing about a shark mauling someone, we’re bringing to you some of the darndest things that kill more people than sharks.

1.  Vending Machines

Vending machines kill 13 angry people a year by falling on top of them. That’ll teach them not to kick and punch anymore!

2. Selfies

We all saw this coming. 12 people succumb to the fatal attraction of selfies each year, according to recent studies. How? Car crashes, electrocution, being run over by a train, death by grenade, falling off a cliff, falling into an active volcano, etc. 

3. Falling out of bed

Surprising? Maybe. Scary? Yes. About 450 people die annually by falling out of bed, usually from head and neck injuries. Maybe it’s time to switch out our seemingly harmless beds for something closer to the ground.

4. Volcanoes

Volcanoes kill, on average, 762 people a year.

5. Champagne corks

24 people die annually from being hit by champagne corks, usually in the face at weddings. That’s sure to leave rich people quaking in their leather loafers. Enjoy your drinks responsibly, folks.

6. Coconuts

Watch out for that … coconut! 150 people die each year from being hit on the coconut by a coconut. Someone needs to bring back “When Vacations Attack” ASAP.

7. Hot tap water

You know that feeling when scalding hot water dumps on you in the shower and you feel like you’re dead? Well, 34 people know that feeling all too well. Because it killed them.

8. Messy handwriting

Messy handwriting, especially that of doctors, indirectly leads to a whopping number of 7,000 deaths annually. Patients’ prescriptions can often be mixed up, causing them to receive the wrong dosage or incorrect medicine altogether.

9. Animal-drawn vehicles

Maybe skip the allure of horse-drawn carriages the next time you’re in one of those quaint cities that offer them. 80 people die each year because of animal-drawn vehicle accidents.

10. Falling TVs

Now, you may be imagining a TV falling from great heights and crashing onto the ground far below, potentially after being thrown out of a building by an angry resident. That’s not the case here. 41 people are killed annually merely by TVs tipping over onto them. The victims are much too often children.

11. Left-handed people using right-handed things

Never has being right-handed been more of a lifesaver than in this day and age. 2,500 left-handed individuals die each year after using right-handed items incorrectly. Sorry, lefties.

12. Being buried alive

29 people die from being buried alive each year. Yikes.

13. Armed toddlers

21 people, including both adults and children, die each year from toddlers wielding a gun they may have found in their parents’ mysteriously unlocked cabinet.

14. Elephants

Those cute, cuddly animals that everyone adores? Yeah, they kill 600 people a year. Tough love.

And as for sharks, the beady-eyed monsters of the waters kill only 10 people a year. We’ll definitely be showing them our appreciation by having our eyes glued to the TV for 168 hours of swimming cartilage-filled majesty. Hopefully our TV doesn’t fall on us …

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected].