5 reasons UC Berkeley students would survive a zombie apocalypse

spooky sproul
Karen Chow/File

UC Berkeley is quite a spooky place. As the No. 1 public university in the world, things can get pretty gnarly. We at the Clog feel that because of this, UC Berkeley students can survive anything, even the dead. So let’s bring a whole new meaning to “Dead Week.”

  1. Everyone is basically a zombie anyway

The average UC Berkeley student gets less than eight hours of sleep a night and could easily be mistaken for a fellow zombie and avoid an attack.

  1. We get angry easily and take action

Take the protests this past year as an example — UC Berkeley students aren’t afraid to mobilize when the going gets tough or something angers them.

  1. We stay indoors

UC Berkeley students take their studies seriously and are always inside, not for refuge, but because they have a midterm or essay due and thus, will avoid a zombie attack.

  1. We’re ruthless

Whether it’s not giving our notes to a fellow classmate because the class is curved or sacrificing a friend to brain-hungry zombies, UC Berkeley students are hella cutthroat and not afraid to put themselves first.

  1. Bear Walk

Berkeley BearWALK is a night safety service provided by campus, UC Berkeley students could definitely survive with the help of this handy service!

Winter may be here, but the night kings got nothing on UC Berkeley’s army of White Walkers.

Contact Olivia Lipari at [email protected].