The worst reasons to miss the solar eclipse

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Willow Yang/Staff

Aug. 21 marks the first total solar eclipse to cross the continental United States since 1918. It’s also going to be the only one in which totality can be seen in our country for a long, long time. Because of this, you probably don’t want to miss this great event. To help steer clear of possible obstacles, we at the Clog have listed some of the worst possible scenarios that would cause one to miss the solar eclipse.

You overslept

The eclipse passes over Berkeley from 9:00 a.m. to about 11:40 a.m., with its peak at 10:15 a.m. We’re supposed to experience 76 percent maximum coverage, as well. This means that you must make sure to set those alarms and get your sleepy butt up in time to see this spectacular event, regardless of how much “fun” you had the night before.

You didn’t get your eclipse-viewing glasses in time

Yeah, we get it, all of the viewing glasses are either sold out or pretty damn expensive now. Whatever’s left is selling like hot cakes, too, about $30 to $100 a pop. While this is a pretty penny to pay, especially as a college student, it is worth the price to experience this once-in-a-lifetime occurrence.

You forgot to get the glasses entirely

Hopefully you can jack someone else’s glasses or use one of those pinhole projectors. Just try not to look up at the sky with your naked eyes, unless you want your photoreceptors fried. What a way to start the school year. 

You just put a casserole in the oven

Just let it burn inside the oven while your retinas burn outside under the eclipse. Just bake another casserole some other time. We suggest doing it when you need to get out of work (a very common excuse for a sick day, unsurprisingly).

You decided to go out of the country

So you chose late August to take your last great summer vacation. Well, unless you went to British Columbia, Canada or the Caribbean, you done goofed, pal. Maybe you can try again in 28 years.

Your entire lower body fell asleep from sitting down too long and you couldn’t get up in time to see the eclipse

Nextflix tried to warn you with its sassy “Are you still watching?” pop-up. That darn moon just moved too fast.

Your RA just baked a fresh batch of cookies

It’s the perfect moment to steal them while your RA unsuspectingly leaves them on the windowsill to cool. Unfortunately, while you’re munching away, your RA will be outside watching the eclipse like every other sane American. Those better be some damn good cookies to miss the eclipse. 

You didn’t realize the eclipse was Monday

Congratulations, you played yourself. We have no other words for you.

Think of this as a PSA: Don’t miss this eclipse! You have no excuse. Well, not a good one, at least.

Contact Pooja Bale at [email protected].