In this world of ambiguity, we’re unsure of basically everything. We don’t know what we want to do post-grad life, we aren’t sure if we’re going to stick to our major and we can’t say for certain what happened last Saturday night. Amidst this sea of uncertainty, there’s one buoy of restoration that we can cling to—the weekend. Recently we were blessed with a three-day weekend, and the joy that this brought got us thinking; imagine how lit it would be if every weekend were a three-day weekend.
Just as there’s nothing more magical than leftover Mexican food the morning after a long night, there’s nothing more magical than a three-day weekend. The joy that comes from rolling into the week with Monday already under our belts is unparalleled.
Two day weekends are such a tease. Saturday is filled with a short-lived euphoria and fleeting joy that is promptly crushed by the reality check of Sunday. We work for 5 days a week for a half second reprieve. Surely, a bonus day off to make Sunday a little more like Saturday is the solution here. So we at the Clog would like to formally propose that every weekend shall be a three-day weekend.
Unfortunately, life in this zero-sum world means that our weekend extension would come at a cost. Our completely unmathematical and entirely guesstimated calculations indicate that we’d need to add roughly 6 hours to every weekday to compensate for our glorious three day weekends.
Before you fight the proposed system, hear us out.
The hardest part of each day is undoubtedly when we have to drag our sad, lifeless bodies out from beneath our cocoon sheets after having snoozed our alarm six times. The activation energy required to get out of bed morning is higher than our roommates were last Friday night. Once the day gets going, there’s enough momentum to carry us through these additional hours. Also, keep in mind that at least some proportion of this daily extension would be spent sleeping. So really, this system is just adding more sleep to our days, which we could all benefit from.
Not to mention how much more productive we could be with all those bonus hours every day. If we had a dime for every time we sat at our desk at 2 a.m. racing against the clock to complete an assignment due the next morning we wouldn’t need to be at the Financial Aid office every morning. All of those times we procrastinate then wish for just a few more hours in our day would become a thing of the past.
We have yet to figure out how this will work with the whole sun setting, moon rising situation. We’re just going to leave that small issue up to Filippenko.
Contact Amanda Chung at [email protected].