Rosh Hashanah hype: How to kick off the new year

resolutions_nishali-naik_file
Nishali Naik/File

L’chaim, Bears and happy Rosh Hashanah. According to the Jews, the universe is officially one year older and we capitalist Americans know what that means — time to party! But really, Rosh Hashanah is actually a time to pray and set intentions for a prosperous new year, so because most of us just started studying this week (and maybe just bought a course reader or two this morning) let’s say shalom and commit to a radical Rosh Hashanah.

Set “rosh” resolutions

Nothing starts off a new year like some New Year’s resolutions — along champagne and grapes, of course. To get into the Rosh Hashanah spirit, let’s set some intentions on how to be sweeter, like honey (a joke that originated from Jewish custom of apples and honey). Make a vow to replace four of your daily scowls with smiles and shoot your mom an, “I love you” text once in a blue moon. You could also be saucy and make your roommate’s bed or do the assigned reading this afternoon.

Other options include throwing your GSI a bone in discussion when no one speaks and saying something juicy. We at the Clog know you have it in you.

Get spicy

As gloriously stated by Sebastian Hastings in the cinematic masterpiece “She’s the Man,” “New school, new babe pool.” While this may be more true for some Bears, a new year equates to a new babe pool. And what better way to swim in a pool than on a swan float? Verbose pick-up lines also provide the effect of flotation in said pool. Examples include:

“You can blow my shofar”

“Hold my apples, honey”

“Hey I’ll challah later”

Feast

Rosh Hashanah is known for having one of the best Jewish feasts of the year so it’s time to munch, Bears. Take this opportunity to go wild at the GBC and treat yourself to a sassy Kombucha or one of those wild Froot Loop lattes at MLK. Go rogue at Yo Po and get all the toppings your heart desires. Get two pastas from Gypsies? Hey, who’s judging? Not the Clog, thats who.

Happy Rosh Hashanah, Golden Bears!

Contact Nichole Bloom at [email protected].