Things flakier than ‘Free Speech Week’ speakers

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Willow Yang/File

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the flakiest of them all? “Free Speech Week” speakers are hard to beat, but we here at the Clog think we can find others that can make them bow down in defeat. Over Berkeley hill and dale, we’ve searched for the person most likely to bail. So sit back and enjoy our little list and most of us can agree that Free Speech Week won’t be missed.

5. Roommates who say they’ll do their dishes.

As much as we’d love it to be true, we’re not Snow White and no, we don’t have cute little woodland creatures to come help us do our chores. Yet, somehow there’s always that one roommate who seems to be under the impression that dishes magically get cleaned and put away by talking squirrels and birds. It’s almost like the giant pile of plates in the sink is invisible to them because they just keep putting more and more on. So please, if this is you, get off Facebook and re-evaluate your kitchen habits.  

4. That one friend from high school who always says “we should hang” but never follows through.

You post a picture, and your old friend from swim team comments something about how cute you are and how they miss you. You’ll respond with the “I miss you too,” and then to keep the interaction going, they say, “We should hang during the break!”

You genuinely want to see this person and catch up through a forum other than Instagram, but they never seem to get past the stage of commenting on your post to the “actually texting you” stage. It’s sad that you’ll probably never see them again because the world isn’t a fairytale, and they won’t just magically appear when you want them to.

3. That friend you make plans with, but when the day comes, they never text back.

There’s really no shortage of these people at UC Berkeley. Yes, everyone is incredibly busy and stressed, but there really is no excuse to not text back, even if it’s to cancel. These friends love to get hyped for a hike or a party days before, but when the time comes, they suddenly forget how to use their phone. The most common response you get hours after the fact is, “Sorry, I fell asleep!” Unintentional naps are understandable, but if you knew about plans beforehand, your only excuse for falling asleep should be a poison apple. So please, don’t be a flake, and take care to let your friends know what’s going on.

2. A student with an 8 a.m. pass/no pass breadth class.

It really doesn’t get much flakier than this. This student will show up to the first class, maybe even for the first few weeks, but after they fail the midterm and click that pass/no pass button on CalCentral, it’s over. They hit snooze and turn into Sleeping Beauty every other morning. Showing up to anything related to that class becomes a fantasy. And who can blame them? Their lack of interest in the subject matter and the fact that the class won’t affect their transcript secures these folks the No. 2 spot on our list.

1. The Berkeley Patriot

We could talk for days about flaky students who miss essay deadlines or friends who always cancel plans, but our peers at the Berkeley Patriot take the cake on this one. After weeks of “planning” and weeks of getting everyone riled up, the entire mess ended in one big cancellation. There’s many sides to this tale, but we can all admit that the Berkeley Patriot was given ample time to get their paperwork turned in. If you ask us, they managed to spark national debate and protests yet still missed a deadline, which earns them the top spot as the flakiest of them all.

 

Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].