How to enact sweet revenge on clubs that reject you

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Ah, the beginning of fall semester at UC Berkeley. Protests are in the air, midterms are out in full force and UC Berkeley Memes for Edgy Teens is full of life. It’s not all fun and daisies though, as fall semester also means a lot of rejection from clubs you dedicated a lot of time and effort applying to. You put yourself through infosession after infosession, interviews, meet and greets only to read these dreaded words:

“Thank you for your time and effort into applying. There was a talented pool of applicants this year and unfortunately …”

You stop there because honestly, do you really need to read this again? Why put yourself through the pain? Feelings of inadequacy and weariness are first to emerge in these post-rejection stages of grief. We here at the Clog want to help you get to the “acceptance” stage faster by giving you some tips for enacting sweet revenge on clubs that have the audacity to reject you.

Take their flyer on Sproul and throw it away right in front of them.

Ignoring them would be just another day at the office for seasoned Sproulers. We recommend you be as petty as possible, take their flyer and then throw it away in the nearest mixed paper bin. Make sure they’re watching too and slam the can shut with a dramatic flair. That’ll show them!

Send them a rejection email back.

Give them a taste of their own medicine with your own, “Thank you for your time, but I actually never wanted you in the first place” email! Let them know that you appreciated all the time they spent interviewing you, then copy and paste the rejection email template and click send. 

Show up to their meetings anyways.

Hey, if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em! Just show up to all their meetings and events to make them feel super guilty about not accepting you. And if they ask you to leave, occupy that space and refuse to do so. Granted, it’s a pretty low thing to do, but just imagine how irked they’ll be when you don’t go. Payback for wasting your time sure is sweet.

Apply for cooler clubs.

We know that it’s hard putting yourself back out there, but we promise, if you apply to as many interesting clubs as possible and put the effort in, you might be pleasantly surprised with the results! Not only is getting into an awesome club exciting and confidence boosting, but those kids over at that other lame club that rejected you are going to regret their decision. There’s no better revenge than being happier and thriving without the people who couldn’t see how amazing you truly are.  

We hope that we can help ease the pain of rejection this semester with our little list! But above all, rejection doesn’t mean you’re a failure. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be and other opportunities may reveal themselves later. Remember that the revenge is best served cold, so buy a pint of Ben & Jerry’s and treat yourself while you plot your vengeance (and maybe cry a bit, too). Roll on you Bears!

Contact Sunny Sichi at [email protected].