A dog’s 1st day at ‘UC Barkeley’

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Lianne Frick/File

Chip the Lab has made history as the first dog to be accepted into UC Berkeley – a phenomenon that has been coined as “UC Barkeley.” Chip has been a hardworking dog all of his life and while it hasn’t been without struggle, his perseverance and the support of his human family have helped him to achieve this milestone. We at the Clog shadowed Chip on his first day of school, which was quite a day to say the least.

7:45 a.m.: Chip wakes up slightly earlier than usual to ensure that he is ready for class as soon as it starts. He has not yet discovered that Berkeley time would’ve allowed him to sleep in a bit more.

8 a.m.: After he shakes off the water from his shower, he sees that his roommates kindly prepared him a bowl of kibble to start the day. They don’t mind that Chip got water all over the bathroom floor, they’re just honored to be living with the first canine student at UC Berkeley.

8:30 a.m.: Chip excitedly sprints towards campus. Fortunately for him, most of the town crosses the street when they aren’t supposed to so he doesn’t need to worry about traffic too much.

9:10 a.m.: Running up the stairs of Dwinelle Hall, Chip is seated for his morning French class. The professor asks each student “comment t’appelles-tu” with each student responding their name in return, but all Chip can say is “woof.” By the end of class, he realizes he may need a French tutor.

10 a.m.: Chip is released from his French class, and decides head over to Memorial Glade to enjoy some fresh air. He lays down and basks in the sun, noticing a handful of dogs running around playing fetch. He joins in on the fun temporarily, but then realizes he should’ve been getting his textbooks and a snack in the time between his morning and noon classes instead.

12:10 p.m.: Next, Chip heads off to his art history class. While usually filled with energy, he feels timid and decided to sit in the back of the lecture hall – it probably doesn’t help that every student is staring at him and whispering to themselves in awe.

1:30 p.m.: Chip then heads to the bookstore to get the books he should’ve bought when he was playing fetch at Memorial Glade. After spending an hour waiting in line, Chip uses his mouth to hand the cashier the note with all his class information. Good thing he bought that doggie backpack from Amazon to help him carry those heavy books back to his residence hall.

3 p.m.: Chip tells himself that he’ll get started on his homework and studying right away, but then proceeds to take a nice, long, well-deserved nap.

5 p.m.: Chip situates himself at his desk, as he prepares to start his homework, but first spends an hour trying to figure out how to comfortably hold a pencil in his paw.

6 p.m.: Once Chip does figure out how to properly hold a pencil, he breezes through his homework. Despite not being able to say much in class, his brain absorbs knowledge in ways the average human cannot comprehend. It should be noted that two weeks later when he aces the first French quiz, several confused students come to him asking for help.

7:30 p.m.: After having his evening bowl of kibble, Chip FaceTimes with his human parents to tell them about his first day. While he’s glad to hear from some familiar faces, he’s embodied with a feeling of homesickness as soon as he hangs up.

8:30 P.m.: Chip decides to walk around his new neighborhood of South Berkeley for a bit. He takes note of the nearby thrift store, and is eager to get some cool clothes to help him blend in. Then he gets hungry and starts craving ice cream (even though he is lactose intolerant). He decides to head home after seeing that the line for Cream is just way too long–it probably didn’t help that “hell yeah” guy was yelling on the corner too.

10:30 P.m.: After doing a little bit more studying in an effort to get ahead, Chip heads to bed where he reflects upon his first day as a canine student at UC Berkeley. Going off to college in an unfamiliar place is scary, but Chip knew that he could handle whatever challenges the next few years would throw at him, and kept in mind that good things would come his way as well.

Between midterms, social life, and whatever else you have going on, the life of a UC Berkeley student is a busy one. But just remember, if Chip the Lab can do it, so can you.

Contact Doug Smith at [email protected].