Life as a college student at UC Berkeley sure has its ups and downs. The highs are memorable and seem short-lived, but the lows are experiences every student can share. Much like the cephalopod cool kid Squidward in “Spongebob Squarepants,” it’s easy to feel trapped in an inescapable void without any feeling. Here are some of those moments when you may feel like donning your “I really wish I weren’t here right now!” pin.
Going to class after three hours or less of sleep
Not only are you sleep-deprived, but now you also have to go to class and work your hardest to not make it obvious. It doesn’t help when your friend cheerily greets you after their nine-hour beauty rest. Will the day ever end? No. Those problem sets won’t do themselves, so you must trek on.
There’s always a person we aspire to be as hot, smart and cultured as. For Squidward, that’s Squilliam. We each have our own Squilliam to engage in friendly competition with. They got into the honors society while you got rejected, but you have a life, so … who wins?
Shopping for food
Only in college would canned bread seem appealing, especially to the hipster Squidward inside all of us. At this point, all that matters is that it tastes good. Every day is cheat day (Squidward’s thicc thighs could speak to this, after he ate all those Krabby Patties).
When your GSI messes up your name
You think you and your GSI are homies by now. It’s been half a semester! Then, at the last discussion of the semester, they take roll and completely butcher your name. So much for that blossoming relationship. At least they know your last name isn’t “Tennis balls” or “Tortellini.”
Repeating the same mistakes
It didn’t matter how many times Squidward earnestly tried to avoid getting confronted by the sea bear. That hot-tempered animal always found a flaw in Squidward’s defense. No amount of advice from Spongebob or Patrick could prevent him from being left in peace, much like how we ignore our friends’ relationship advice to us.
Watching your upperclassmen friends graduate
Just as Squidward dismally watched Spongebob and Patrick enjoy the weather outside from his window, we scroll through graduation pics on Facebook and stare at our graduated friends’ beaming faces, wishing that were us. At the end of it all, though, we’re glad that they finally made it out alive.
Sometimes we feel like Spongebob, full of optimism and vigor, and sometimes we feel like Patrick, completely lost in lecture and generally clueless. When we feel like Squidward, however, we start to understand the sad cephalopod himself. His struggles are our struggles.
Contact Malvika Singhal at [email protected].